


Nymphomaniac

by RoseBonbon



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Light BDSM, Lots and lots of smut, M/M, Masterbation, Sex Toys, Smut, lots of fluff too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-01-06 22:36:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 37,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12220329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseBonbon/pseuds/RoseBonbon
Summary: Ryuji normally has no problem doing favors for his friends. He's happy to help out as much as he can, though he never expected Yusuke to come to him with such a unique situation. Ryuji now finds himself caught up in Yusuke's darkest secret, which in turn brings out his own. With his insecurities and fears brought to light, Ryuji doesn't know how Yusuke could possibly hold on to this desire for him. There are only two roads left for Ryuji to take: fall victim to his own desires or learn that he and Yusuke need each other and can help each other in more ways than one. Which will he choose?





	1. His Addiction

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since I've written smut! I don't think any of my stories are as sex filled as this one will be. That being said, it's going to be a lot of fluff and love too. So here it is in all it's glory! Enjoy the lovely EVERYTHING that'll appear right here in chapter one. Hope you all have fun!

There was nothing unusual about Yusuke calling Ryuji to come by his apartment. They were friends, after all. Not the best of friends, but they were close enough that they could invite each other over every now and then. Sure, this was the first time it happened, and it made Ryuji wonder why in the world Yusuke needed him to come by so badly, but there was nothing weird about this. Just two friends hanging out. Just two friends sitting awkwardly in a cramped dorm at a prestigious school that Ryuji had no business near. Just two people who were less friends and more teammates trying to force a sense of deep friendship that was never there in the first place. Just a regular artist who had invited his teammate over and was now driving said teammate crazy by not explaining why he pulled Ryuji from his bed to come out on a Sunday when there were video games that needed playing. Nothing unusual here at all.

Enough was enough.

“Alright, Yusuke, you need to tell me why you had me come over or I’m gonna leave.”

“Don’t!”

Ryuji was startled by the desperation in Yusuke’s voice. The artist was known for being dramatic, but desperate? Not usually. Ryuji shifted from one foot to the other while Yusuke sat in front of him on his bed, clearly just as uncomfortable with the situation. Yusuke was a proud man—dramatic, yes, but also proud—but there was nothing prideful about him now. He had refused to look at Ryuji since the moment he walked through the door. He was holding his arms a little too tightly around himself, and Ryuji could practically smell that fresh anxiety exuding from him.

“Yusuke? What’s wrong?” Ryuji asked, concern evident in his voice. Who cared that they weren’t the best of friends? Something was off with Yusuke, and he had called Ryuji over to help him. He needed him right now, and Ryuji wasn’t going to turn him away so easily. “You’re not acting like yourself at all. Come on, spill it. What’s up?”

Yusuke swallowed hard and still refused to look Ryuji in the eye. “I worry I made a mistake by calling you over here.”

“Well, I’m here now and I’m not leaving until you tell me what the hell is going on with you.” To prove his point, Ryuji grabbed the desk chair and placed himself in it. He wasn’t going anywhere until Yusuke explained himself.

“I just…” Though Yuske being unable to finish a sentence let alone start one didn't help either of them. Ryuji rolled his eyes as he leaned forward, snapping his fingers to startle Yusuke into looking at him.

“Does it have something to do with the palaces?”

Yusuke shook his head. “Not at all actually.”

“Something to do with one of our friends. Akira? Ann, maybe?”

“No. Not exactly.”

Progress. “What do you mean not exactly?”

“It doesn’t have anything to do with our friends, but I thought… I thought that out of all of them you could be the one to help me.”

“Help you with what, man? You know I’ll do my best to help so just… Just tell me. What’s on your mind? What’s got you all….” He drifted off as he looked the other up and down. “Like this?”

There was a pause, but Ryuji didn’t push Yusuke this time. The words were on the tip of Yusuke’s tongue, and he knew if he was patient, then Yusuke would speak. Patience wasn't exactly one of Ryuji's strong points, but he always had patience when someone was in need. For as aggressive as he could sometimes be, Ryuji knew that rushing would get them no where. Thankfully, his patience paid off. After a few deep sighs and some mental preparation, Yusuke finally spoke, though he squeezed his eyes shut to avoid having to look at Ryuji. Not that Ryuji would complain about that. He was happy that the man finally started speaking, and he wouldn't dare do anything to quiet him down again. 

“I…. I have a problem, Ryuji. I’ve had it since I was basically in elementary school, but it only really developed once I hit puberty. No one knows about this problem. I didn’t even let Madarame know about it. I couldn’t tell him. It was… Too shameful.”

Shameful? Ryuji almost laughed. It didn’t seem possible for someone like Yusuke to have a shameful problem, especially one that’s haunted him since elementary school. Even so, Ryuji kept quiet and listened as the story continued. 

“I used to be able to keep it under control, but it’s harder now. It’s harder now that I’m surrounded by people like you and Akira. Even the girls are stirring up these feelings inside of me, and I’ve never really had an interest in girls. I thought about asking Akira to help me with this, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that you were a better candidate. You and I are friends, but we’re not so close that something like this could damage our friendship. We’re also different enough that if you agreed to help me, this could be an exciting and fun experience for the both of us.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Yusuke?” It didn't take long for all of the patience Ryuji had to dry out. The things coming from Yusuke's mouth were eerie to say the least. It made Ryuji uncomfortable and that lack of comfort made him want answers. Now. 

“My problem has a name, Ryuji.”

“Which is?”

There was a heavy sigh, then Yusuke finally opened his eyes. “Nymphomania.”

“Um….”

There was a moment of silence between them before Yusuke started laughing. “You don’t know what it means? 

“I know what it fucking means, Yusuke!”

No, he didn’t.

“Here.” Yusuke handed the other his phone. Apparently, he had predicted this would happen and had the definition up and ready on his phone. Hiding his amusement was easy. Those brown eyes grew wider than saucers; Yusuke thought they would pop out of his head if he wasn’t careful. Seeing Ryuji's lip tremble as he read the definition to himself was just as cute. Yusuke could admit to himself that he got a sick pleasure from watching the realization hit his companion. He was far past the point of feeling embarrassed by his secret, and telling it to someone like Ryuji only made him feel empowered. He waited a while longer while Ryuji soaked it all in. 

"Ryuji?"

“Excessive… S-sexual desire?” Ryuji's voice shook through every word. 

Yusuke nodded. “The term nymphomania is reserved for females, but I prefer it to the male equivalent. Not that words matter. The problem is the same. I have an uncontrollable addiction to sex. Well… I used to be able to control it. Like I said, with you and Akira around it’s gotten harder. You’re both so… Stunning. I can’t help but imagine myself with the both of you. I think about it all the time. It’s effected my artwork. I used to be able to reign in my desires to focus on some other form of inspiration, but now… Now all I think about is sex. I spend my time by myself doing nefarious things in the dark when I should be drawing or painting. I—“

“You gotta stop right there, Yusuke. Y-you can’t just talk so casually about something like this! It’s not… I-I mean….”

“I know. It’s not normal.”

“That’s not what I was going to say.”

“But it was.”

Of course it wasn’t fucking normal. It was far from normal. Addiction wasn’t something that Ryuji liked or knew how to deal with, and he especially didn’t know how he could help Yusuke with his own addiction problem. Unless of course….

“Y-you’re asking m-me to….?”

“That’s right.” Yusuke nodded as understanding flooded over Ryuji. Still, there was no harm in spelling it out for him. “I want you to be my sexual partner. My need and desire…. It’s overwhelming me. I’ve noticed it start to effect my fighting in palaces, and that is where I draw the line. I knew I needed to do something about this before I got myself or one of our friends hurt.” Yusuke let another tension filled silence fill the air. He tried his best to scope out exactly what Ryuji was thinking or feeling, but it was impossible. Ryuji just sat in front of him like a statue. For once it seemed the over-talkative Ryuji was at a loss for words. Even his facial expressions had stopped working. Yusuke understood the magnitude of what he was asking his friend to do for him, but perhaps he had underestimated exactly how this would sit with Ryuji. Neither of them had ever talked about sex before. Perhaps it was a sensitive topic for Ryuji, but Yusuke couldn’t imagine that was the case. He was always going on and on about meeting girls and doing goodness knows what with them.

Oh. Perhaps that was the problem.

“Is it because I’m a man?”

A snort was his response. “I mean, that’s part of the problem, but literally not the main issue here.”

“Then what is?”

How was Ryuji supposed to explain to Yusuke exactly how awkward it was to ask his straight male friend to be his plus one?

As bluntly as possible.

“First and foremost, I’m straight. Let’s just get that squared away. Secondly, I have no sexual attraction towards you. No offense. You’re pretty and all, but not appealing to me in that way. Sorry. Thirdly… Jesus fucking christ, Yusuke, you can’t just ask your friends to be your plus ones so casually! This is a lot to take in! I mean, I don’t even know to what extent your sex addiction is! Sounds like you need a doctor!" 

“I don’t want a doctor. I don’t see a problem with having a strong sexual prowess.”

“It’s disrupting your daily life!”

“But it’s doesn’t have to. I have the solution. You’re the solution.”

“Why me? Why not Akira?”

“Akira is perfect. I have no doubt he’d be able to satisfy me sexually. And in the future I’d love to have him try. But for now, I want you. I want you and all of your imperfections. I want you and your roughness. I want you and your strength. I want your lack of elegance and your thunder and your passion and your everything, Ryuji! I want you!”

He wasn’t hearing this correctly. There was no way these words were coming out of Yusuke’s mouth. There was no way Yusuke was again looking so desperate and… So hungry. Ryuji had never seen that look in Yusuke’s eyes before. That dark, hooded look that made Ryuji think Yusuke would devour him at any moment. If Yusuke were a shadow, then Ryuji knew in this moment he had no chance of defeating him. There was a seriousness, a passion, a desire, a something in those eyes that Ryuji had never seen more. That desire was fueling Yusuke, and Ryuji was as helpless as he'd been before he obtained his person. He gulped loudly, only just noticing that Yusuke was nearly on his feet, ready to show him just how badly he wanted him.

“I don’t know how I can help you," Ryuji said, wishing his only escape route wasn't so far away. 

“I need it every day, Ryuji. Every single day you would meet me in my dorm after class, we’d have sex, and then you can go.”

Ryuji wasn’t the sharpest knife, but he knew things wouldn’t go so smoothly, especially considering just how much Yusuke was wanting this…. Needing this apparently.

“It won’t go like you’re planning it to.”

“Then we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. If you say no, then I’ll ask Akira. It’s no problem.”

“And if he says no? Are you going to ask one of the girls?”

“My naiveté doesn’t extend that far. I know they’ll say no. Worse, they’ll think me a pervert. No, it’s either you or Akira. No one else.”

It wasn’t worth it. It just wasn’t worth the risks. Even if Ryuji was okay with the idea of having sex with another man, this was his friend! His kind-of friend. His teammate. How would the dynamic between them change if this were to happen? Would people notice? Would people somehow sense that they were sleeping together? Would they suddenly find out that Yusuke was a nymphomaniac and literally required sex? And never mind the group, how would the two of them act like nothing had changed?

“I see you still need convincing.”

“Of course I still fucking need convincing! What you’re asking me to do is insane.”

“Take off your pants."

“What? Oh, hell no. Hell no, Yusuke. I think we’re done here.”

“Don’t!” Yusuke pushed Ryuji back into the chair when he started to stand, and it was then that Ryuji remembered just exactly how strong this small man was in battle. “Please,” Yusuke whispered, his hair falling over one tired and needy eye as he slowly got on his knees in front of Ryuji. “Please just… You don’t understand the feeling of being consumed by your own desires. I imagine this is how people feel when their palaces are formed. You can’t escape your desires no matter how twisted they are. If this is what you want, then sometimes you can’t control it.” Those tired eyes looked like tears would form in them any minute now. Emotions swirled inside of Ryuji, and it was impossible to settle on just one. Guilt that Yusuke was suffering so much. Confusion as to why Yusuke wanted him of all people. Flattery that it had indeed been him who was chosen. Understanding of Yusuke's situation and also an understanding that he wouldn't walk away. Yusuke hadn't finished convincing him and Ryuji knew he wouldn't leave until he did. Somehow he knew what was coming next. As if he could read the future, Ryuji knew exactly what Yusuke was going to do… And it worried him more than he knew.

“If I can’t convince you right here and now, then you can go. I won’t bother you about this anymore. If I can’t show you that this experience will be worth your while as much as it will be worth mine, then I won’t stop you from going out of that door. But let me try. Please, let me try, Ryuji.”

This was a bad idea. Every fiber of Ryuji’s being was screaming at him that this was a bad idea. He could see exactly how this would fail. He could see exactly how this new relationship of theirs would damage the group. He could see how this would get them absolutely nowhere.

But he could also see how it could be fun. He could see himself opening up to new horizons. He could see his curiosity about what it’s like to be with a man finally satisfied. And Yusuke… Well sadly, he was prettier than the girls in the group.

Maybe today was the day to throw caution to the wind.

“If you can’t convince me, I’m leaving, and we’re gonna pretend this never happened. Understand?”

“Crystal clear.”

There was no moment given for Ryuji to think about the mistake he had made. Suddenly there were lips on his abdomen and working their way up to his nipple. He swallowed hard and stayed frozen as Yusuke’s lips worked their way around his chest. Physically, his body was reacting exactly how it should have been. He felt warmer and he could feel his blood rushing all the way down. Each kiss left a little bit of heat behind, which soaked into Ryuji’s skin. Each lick of that soft tongue made him want to moan, but he held it in. Yes, physically this was one of the nicest—no, hottest—things he had ever experienced. But in his mind he couldn’t get it out of his head that this was Yusuke. Yusuke Kitagawa. Fox. His teammate and friend.

Did that matter? The more Yusuke licked and nipped at Ryuji’s skin, the more Ryuji was wondering if he should even care that this was Yusuke. Perhaps he needed the touch of a lover just as badly as his desperate friend did. Yusuke was just brave enough to admit it.

Ryuji indulged in his partner’s little kisses until they started going downward. Then he began to get nervous, not that his body showed it. He was up and erect and didn’t even realize it until the kisses stopped. He looked down only to see Yusuke smiling at him as he slowly undid his pants. A part of him wanted to tell Yusuke to wait, but a stronger part of him wanted to experience what was coming next. It took an eternity for his pants to come undone (or could that have been Yusuke teasing him?) A hand quickly made it’s way into his underwear and pulled out his erection. He let out a small cry when the cold air hit his warm cock, but it didn’t stay cold for long.

Yusuke held onto the base as he licked at the tip like a kitten licks at it’s milk. The teasing was driving Ryuji wild, but Yusuke didn’t seem to care. All he cared about was licking that tip like it was a lollipop. Eventually he took the tip in his mouth and sucked gently, though he let it go after just a moment. This time Ryuji couldn’t hold in his moan. What a fucking tease…. Yusuke did it again. Slowly, ever so slowly, he took the tip in his mouth and sucked until the cock popped out of his mouth.

“Y-Yusuke….”

“You don’t like it slow, do you? You’re not a slow moving person, after all.”

Yet he still moved at his gradual pace. He dragged his tongue from the base to the top, relishing in the long gasp Ryuji let out. A surprising amount of satisfaction rose in Yusuke at the string of curses Ryuji let out as he ran his tongue along his length again. Ryuji wasn’t the most patient man, but that made it all the more worth it for Yusuke to take his sweet time. The purpose was for enjoyment, and he could tell that he wasn’t the only one having fun. Ryuji’s hips jerked up each time Yusuke’s tongue teased at his sensitive tip. His legs were quivering, and Yusuke could see his hands trying to resist grabbing his hair. It would take a while for Ryuji to learn that he could treat Yusuke as roughly as he wanted, but Yusuke was happy to train him.

The teasing continued with Yusuke taking in as much of Ryuji’s cock as he could, sucking hard, and then letting go. Each time it left the warmth of Yusuke’s mouth, Ryuji let out a heavy “fuck.” God, he hated all this teasing, and yet it just turned him on more. It made him desperate. The urgency to have his pulsing dick back in Yusuke’s mouth grew inside of him every time the cold air hit it. He hoped he wouldn’t have to beg, but dammit he was just about ready to. His leg was bouncing uncontrollably, yet he continued to work hard to keep himself sane. Yusuke was proud of his friend. When had he ever seen Ryuji try to keep himself from losing it entirely? Yusuke wondered if Ryuji was holding in his passion out of respect for him. As nice as that was, Yusuke didn’t want it. Now he had to think about what it would take for Ryuji to loosen his tightly wound sense of morals?

Yusuke’s tongue worked all around the thick cock. Perhaps he wasn’t impressing Ryuji as much as he could. Well, he would just have to rock Ryuji’s world then. Starting at the tip he sucked as gently as he could, indulging in the soft sounds of the other’s moans. Then he took him in deeper and deeper while sucking harder, his fingers light toying with his balls. If Ryuji wanted quick and hard, then that’s exactly what he would give him. His head bobbed up and down as he sucked, and at the same time Ryuji’s voice grew louder and more hysterical.

“Yusuke… Yusuke, fuck! Fuck that’s good….”

Yusuke’s free hand ran along Ryuji’s abs, while his mouth worked hard to keep his companion happy. He swirled his tongue around, which made Ryuji let out a loud and amusingly high pitched sound. Delight filled Yusuke as he tasted the beginnings of pre-cum, and he sucked even harder to get as much of the salty substance as he could. The taste and Ryuji’s clear excitement got him going even more, and he worked hard to take in as much as he could, going deeper and deeper, moaning as it tickled the back of his throat.

“Fuck!”

Finally. Ryuji couldn’t hold himself together anymore. His hands gripped Yusuke’s dark hair roughly as his hips began thrusting. He held Yusuke’s head still as he fucked his mouth, his cock glistening in wetness as it was pushed in and out. His eyes had been closed up until this point, but he looked down at Yusuke, taking in the sight of his lips shaped in a perfect “O,” saliva running down his chin, his cheeks pink and puffed out from the thing in his mouth. God, he was beautiful.

“So fucking beautiful….” Ryuji whispered, hardly realizing he’d said it. As if to thank him, Yusuke swallowed hard, his tongue lapping at the shaft and sucking down every bit of dribble coming from it. It was all Ryuji could do to keep himself from slamming into the other’s mouth as hard as he could. Of course, he was hardly going at it lightly. His grip tightened in Yusuke’s hair and his teeth gritted together as he felt the warmth in the pit of his stomach. There was no control as he thew his head back and held Yusuke’s head against him as he unloaded in the other’s mouth.

His body fell limp, and Yusuke pulled away. Ryuji watched as the pretty artist delicately ran his finger along the edges of his lips to get up any cum that didn’t quite make it down his throat. There was still a sense of lust in the air, but as the two kept their eyes on each other the mood started to change. The warmth began to dissipate, and the redness in their cheeks wasn’t due to high sexual tension. Ryuji, suddenly aware of his limp dick hanging out, stuffed it back in his pants.

“I… I Um….”

“Did you like it?”

“What?”

“Did you like it, Ryuji?” Yusuke asked, his voice soft, but husky.

Of course he liked it. He loved it. He fucking loved every single moment of it. No one had ever done anything like that with him before and it felt better than he could have imagined. He wanted to grab Yusuke right now and fuck him until he passed out. He wanted to give the little nymphomaniac everything he could ever ask for, and he wanted to receive everything Yusuke could give him in return. The haze was still surrounding him, and in it he could still feel that wet mouth around his hard cock. God, he wanted it again. He wanted it again right now.

“Y-yeah,” he said simply, unable to express everything he was thinking. 

Yusuke chuckled and smiled as he sat down on the bed. “Good. I’m glad.” He crossed his legs, ignoring his own throbbing erection just so he didn’t make Ryuji too uncomfortable. “So… Will you do it? You’ll be my plus one, as you so put it?”

“You’re hard.”

Yusuke rolled his eyes. “Brilliant observation. Answer me, Ryuji. Will you come here every day and do these things with me?”

“Yeah.” Ryuji was surprised by how quickly he answered. His brain didn’t have time to consider how this was would change everything between them, but a part of him didn’t care. What was sex anyway? It didn’t have to be a commitment to anything. Sex was sex. It felt good and that was all there was to it. Feelings and emotions and awkwardness didn’t have to be a factor if neither person wanted them to be. There was nothing to lose and only pleasure to gain.

“Yeah,” he repeated, even more confident in his decision now that he’d convinced himself everything would be fine. “Yeah, I’ll do it.”

Ryuji didn’t think he’d ever seen a smile so big on Yusuke’s face. Yusuke practically fell into Ryuji’s arms (no doubt trying to play up the dramatics) and held him tightly against him.

“Thank you, Ryuji. You have no idea what you’ve done for me. I can’t thank you enough.”

The hug turned out to be more awkward for Ryuji than the blowjob. “Y-yeah. No problem. Um…” He gently pushed Yusuke away, his eyes traveling from that pretty face to the tent that was Yusuke’s pants. “Should we… Take care of that?”

Yusuke shook his head, laughing softly at the confused look Ryuji gave him. “I’ll wait. Not that I really want to wait, but imagine how excited I’ll be tomorrow when I see you. The wait makes the reward all the more sweeter.” He placed a kiss on Ryuji’s cheek before heaving him out of the chair and pushing him towards the door. “Now, I’ll see you tomorrow. Right after school, okay? Just meet me here in my dorm. I’ll be waiting.” An overly eager and excited Yusuke shut the door on Ryuji, leaving him alone in the hallway with only his thoughts. Those thoughts pulled and tugged on one another as the former athlete took his time in leaving the dorm and going home.

“Tomorrow….” Ryuji whispered to himself as he walked along the streets of Shibuya towards the train station. “Tomorrow….” He said again.

Tomorrow was the start of an entirely new adventure. 


	2. Masterpiece

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally finished chapter two! I love the dynamic between Ryuji and Yusuke so much. I tried to delve into some of their differences and how they feel being with each other. I hope it all came across as intended. Aside from exploring their thoughts and feelings I also feel like I'm slowly getting better at writing smut. This was a fun chapter for me and I hope you all enjoy. Enjoy these sexy boys and the sexy things they like to do~

Yusuke wielded his sword with silent and deadly precision. Bearing the confidence of a samurai, Yusuke slid the weapon back into it’s sheath. Even when everyone thought the battle wasn’t over, the fox thief knew it was. As soon as the metal blade disappeared fully into the sleek black sheath, the enemy fell into two pieces behind him, spattering blood everywhere.

“Shall we continue?” Yusuke asked in a disinterested voice. He walked towards his friends, all of them staring at him as if he would slice them apart next. This wasn’t the first time they had seen him destroy an enemy like that, and they knew it wouldn’t be the last, but something was different. Typically when the team trained in Mementos everyone carried an air of excitement. Enthusiasm coursed though each phantom thief and drove them towards their goals. Today was different for Yusuke. Today he looked serious. Upset. Bothered. And he took out those emotions on the poor demons.

“Fox?” The leader called out to the sword wielder, though he ignored his instinct to reach out and touch him. Akira knew when someone needed their space, and it was clear that he would be safer keeping his distance. “Is everything alright?”

Everyone else had already climbed into the Mona car, save for Ryuji who stood right outside of it. When Ann stuck her head out of the window to scold him for eavesdropping, he just winked at her and held a finger to his lips. He knew she was just as curious as he was to hear what Yusuke had to say about his demeanor. The two blondes had a silent pact to always spill the tea about anyone and anything. They were proud of their nosy nature; they even bonded over it. Today was no exception. After a sigh, Ann winked back and disappeared into the car, trusting that Ryuji would eventually tell all. In the meantime….

“I’m fine, Joker. Why?”

Like hell he was fine. Ryuji clapped a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing. Only he knew the real reason why Yusuke was so upset.

“You seem a little off today.” Akira voiced his concern as carefully as he could.

“Off, you say? Am I doing something wrong?”

“No, no. Not at all. You’re fighting perfectly. In fact, you’ve slain every demon we’ve encountered since we got here. I don’t think anyone has had to take out their weapons at all.”

“Oh… I see. I didn’t realize that—“

“It’s no problem, Fox.” Akira found the bravery to rest a hand on Yusuke’s shoulder, and thankfully that hand didn’t disappear right before his eyes. “You know, you can tell me if something is bothering you.”

Yusuke found it hard to keep secrets from his leader especially knowing how worried he was. Even if he refused to tell him the whole truth, the fox thief could at least give him half. “I suppose…. I suppose I just wanted to remain home today. When you sent the text asking if everyone wanted to go to Mementos, they all said yes. I didn’t want to be the only one to deny coming here so I said yes as well. In reality, I just wanted to go home.”

“That’s no problem, Fox. I understand needing a break. Believe me, I get it. In fact, why don’t we just head back? It’s probably about that time anyway.”

“I-I didn’t wish to impose on—“

“You’re not imposing on anything, Fox. Come on. Let’s go.” Akira smiled at his friend and guided him back to the car. Ryuji had already raced back inside, unknowing the two of them had seen him bolt. The two shared a laugh and a shake of their heads, silently choosing to allow Ryuji to get away with it. They were about to follow him in when Akira stopped Yusuke one more time.

“I get that sometimes we have to relax. I also get that sometimes we just want to go home and do nothing. No one will be angry if you decide you want to stay home instead of going to Mementos, okay? So don’t worry about it.”

Yusuke nodded, feeling his leader’s confidence wash over him. “Thank you, Joker.” With that, Yusuke made his way into the car and sat down next to Ryuji with Akira on his other side. The two ladies sat in the front, per usual, and once everyone was settled they were on their way.

“Head back up, Mona. We’re going home,” Akira instructed.

“You got it!” The car buzzed to life and was soon driving back to the entrance of Mementos. No one complained or said anything about their training time being cut short. They knew that whatever was said between Fox and Joker ended with this decision, and they accepted it. Ryuji would fill Ann in on the details later. Some of them anyway. It took everything in him not to burst out laughing at the poor fox. It was no lie that he wanted to go home straight after school, but he left out the part where Ryuji would show up and… Entertain him. The only reason Fox was so angry was because he wanted his sexy time and was instead pulled to Mementos.

It was hysterical, and Ryuji was the only one who could appreciate the humor.

***

It took everything in Yusuke not to punch his blond companion right in that lovely face of his. Ryuji hadn’t stopped laughing at him since the two separated from the group together. Ryuji somehow thought their plans were foiled, but Yusuke had other ideas. The fox took his companion back to his dorm, though it seemed the blond truly believed nothing was going to happen between them tonight. He was far too busy laughing at Yusuke to see just how determined the other was. No, their plans were hardly cancelled. The pleasure Yusuke would feel in Ryuji’s realization of this was worth the other’s obnoxiousness. He gathered every bit of patience inside of him and waited for his companion to quiet down. By now Ryuji had fallen on the bed, holding his stomach from the pain of laughing too hard. For what it was worth, Yusuke found the sight adorable. Ryuji was childlike and silly; both were traits Yusuke found cute. The blond’s ability to laugh at anything, his simplistic thoughts and ideals, his passion behind those ideals… Everything about him was attractive.

“Alright, Ryuji, you’ve had your fun. Now it’s my turn.”

Ryuji’s laughter was abruptly cut off when Yusuke jumped on top of him, pinning his hands above his head. There was that look again…. Yusuke’s dark eyes glistened with hunger and desire just like they had the previous night. Ryuji was drawn into them and he knew it was pointless to put up a fight. For as close they were, Yusuke was leaning in even closer, sucking Ryuji deeper and deeper into his gaze. A small sound came from the artist, a whine of need or perhaps a sort of begging. It surprised Ryuji how his body reacted to just that insignificant whine. He felt his lower half twitch and he wondered if Yusuke would make that sound again. It had been the first time he’d heard the other sound like that and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want more. He found his craving hard to deny, but as he stared into those deep eyes, he still felt apprehensive.

His body tensed when Yusuke started to plant soft kisses along his neck and collarbone. Each kiss was warm and tender, but Ryuji wasn’t ready for this sudden change of mood. He whimpered, trying to lean away from the promiscuous fox, which only gave even more room for Yusuke to devour. His teeth were a bit sharper than Ryuji thought (a trait of a fox?) It made him wonder if he actually wanted Yusuke’s teeth near his precious dick, or anywhere on his body for that matter. As much as his body was screaming yes to these little kisses, Ryuji himself was unsure of what he wanted.

“Um, Yusuke? Maybe we should…” Ryuji drifted off, unable to keep his voice from shaking when he felt Yusuke’s hot breath against his lips.

“We should… What? Stop? Do you want to stop, Ryuji?”

Ryuji let out a quick gasp when Yusuke’s tongue lapped at his dry lips. Feeling that wetness against him reminded Ryuji of that perfect tongue gliding down his cock, swirling around the tip, licking him like he was the most delicious piece of candy on earth. God, he wanted to feel that again, sharp teeth or no. He wanted that tongue and that mouth to devour him again, to take him in whole and let him mercilessly fuck him until his heart couldn’t take it anymore.

There was another twitch and his pants suddenly felt too tight. He groaned as he spread his legs open, and Yusuke wasted no opportunity to grind against the other’s throbbing cock.

“I don’t want t-to stop. I just… I m-mean I….” It was too hard to speak with the two of them so close. His body was driving him forward while his mind was racing about how they should take this slower. Yes, he had agreed to be Yusuke’s plus one, but did they have to actually… Do it…? Right now? Right this instant? Maybe they should go on a date to LeBlanc or maybe they should take a walk in the park and get to know each other or….

“Don’t worry, Ryuji.” Yusuke could see how flush his partner was getting. The artist was desperate for a companion, but he didn’t want Ryuji to rush into anything he was having second thoughts on. Something like this would take time and patience, and though both were running thin for Yusuke he had some to spare for the man that agreed to such an unusual request.

Yusuke licked Ryuji’s lips again, smiling down at the clearly confused male. “You’re still apprehensive. I understand that.” Before Ryuji could respond to him, the artist placed a soft, gentle kiss on his lips. He pecked him over and over, then lowered his head to place delicate kisses along Ryuji’s jaw and neck once again. His kisses were light as feathers and yet they all sent electric shocks straight down Ryuji’s body. The athlete squirmed under the other. Everything was suddenly overwhelming. His collar was too tight, his pants were too tight, his cheeks were flushed red, his breathing came heavy… And then there was Yusuke.

Yusuke could see—no, he could feel how strained Ryuji was. He could sense the other’s desire and he could sense his fight to keep it at bay. Yusuke had never been one to deny his sexual prowess. He may have kept this addiction of his a secret, but he always allowed himself to succumb to it. Ryuji wasn’t cut from the same cloth. He was all bark and no bite, someone who enjoyed talking about doing things with women only to never see any of it come to life. He was a shy boy. Yusuke could practically hear his frightened heart pounding inside his chest. The desire was there, this Yusuke knew. The problem was getting Ryuji to accept it and indulge in it. Thankfully, Yusuke was an expert at drawing out those lavish needs. He could lure it to the surface and watch with a crooked smile as Ryuji succumbed to it.

That would be later though.

This was all a process. Steps had to be taken before Ryuji would fall victim to his erotic desire just as Yusuke had so long ago. As if freeing his prisoner, Yusuke let go to Ryuji’s wrists to give him a sense of liberation, a sense of choice. The other immediately grabbed a hold of Yusuke’s shoulders and forced him to look at him. That darkness in Yusuke’s eyes never wavered. As he stared down at Ryuji he couldn’t help but think about how soft he looked. How delicious he looked. The poor thing was sensitive and confused and so utterly unlike the Ryuji he had come to know. They were both aching for one another, but Ryuji continued to refuse all of it.

“Shhh. Relax, Ryuji.” Yusuke sat up entirely and took a deep breath as the warmth suddenly left his body. He hated pulling himself away from Ryuji, but this was just part of the process. They both needed to miss the other’s warmth if they were to move forward. Without hesitation Yusuke climbed off the bed and took a seat in his desk chair. While Ryuji sat up and gathered himself, Yusuke began to unbutton his shirt.

“I don’t want you to experience any amount of discomfort. I’m not here to make you uncomfortable. On the contrary I’m here to pleasure you. I’d like to pleasure you, Ryuji. It’s something I desire.”

Ryuji’s eyes never left Yusuke as the artist slowly removed his shirt. Just like last night everything was coming at him full force and he wasn’t prepared for any of it. Still, his body felt cold now that Yusuke had backed away. Part of him was dying for his partner to come back to him and keep kissing him so tenderly while another part of him wanted the other to stay right where he was. Back and forth, back and forth. He wanted Yusuke, but then he didn’t. His body was screaming for the beautiful artist while his mind was screaming for him to stay away. His throat tightened from anxiety or desire, he couldn’t tell which. His cock twitched and wanted to be freed, but he kept his will under control or he tried to. The room suddenly felt much too hot. His palms were clammy; how could he touch Yusuke with clammy palms? The best thing to do would be to end this mess. Yusuke would be better off with Akira anyway. Akira was suave and dark and perfect, the complete opposite of Ryuji. He was—

“Calm down, Ryuji.”

“Huh?”

Yusuke adjusted in his chair so he was sitting on the edge, just a bit closer to Ryuji without actually approaching him. “I know you’re nervous. Listen, I know I said you’d have sex with me every day, but I won’t force you into anything you’re uncomfortable with. We don’t have to have sex tonight, Ryuji. In fact, I think it might be better that we get to know each other and come to understand each other’s bodies a bit more.”

“W-what?”

“Your body reacted well to my kisses. My body reacted when your’s did. Now that I see how nervous you are, I can feel my body calming down. When you’re excited I’m excited, and when you’re not excited I seem to wish to care for you. I just want you to be as happy as I am when we’re together, Ryuji. I want you to one day be as delighted to see me and my body as I am to see you and yours. Until then we can take things slowly. Okay?”

Slowly? Says the guy who essentially forced a blowjob on Ryuji. Not that the blond walked out of it unsatisfied, but the irony didn’t go over his head. Even so, there was something about how caring Yusuke was right now that kept Ryuji grounded. Those soft, gentle words put all of his anxiety and unease to rest. It wasn’t like Yusuke was an animal. He was an artist. He liked beautiful things and he liked seeing other people indulge in beautiful things. He wanted Ryuji to experience this beauty with him, not be dragged into it kicking and screaming.

“Okay,” Ryuji said simply, nodding his head. “I-I mean, don’t get me wrong. I totally find you gorgeous. I mean you know, as gorgeous as a guy can be. Well, you’re beautiful in a different kind of way. Like not masculine or feminine. I guess I’m saying that I get excited too, clearly, I mean you drove me up a wall yesterday and today I’m—“

“Ryuji.” Yusuke’s voice was clear and firm, yet his smile revealed other things. “Don’t be so anxious. Here, I’ve done something for you. I know one reason you’re nervous is because I’m a male. I thought perhaps if I could tend to the side of you that prefers females, things might go a bit smoother.” Yusuke stood and slowly, teasingly as he liked to do, unbuttoned his pants. His eyes stayed on Ryuji the whole time who was only focused on the way Yusuke’s hands worked. They took their time unzipping the pants and then slowly pulled them down. Ryuji’s breath caught in his throat and he was fully erect before he even realized it.

Ryuji had never seen a pair of panties actually on someone nor had he ever imagined they would look so… Appetizing. How did Yusuke pull it off? Ryuji’s lips and throat were suddenly dry again, and he gulped loudly as he took in the stunning sight before him. Even though he had nothing to compare them to, Ryuji thought these were the most beautiful panties he’d ever seen on the most beautiful person he’d ever seen. He watched as Yusuke’s delicate, long fingers ran over the sheer, lacy sides then found their way to the little bow in the middle. Black was always appropriate, but perhaps a bit too harsh for Yusuke’s snow white skin. Maybe he’d suggest pink to Yusuke. Then there were the stockings…. The black thigh high stockings that accompanied the panties gave only one thought to Ryuji— they’d look amazing after being ripped.

“Do you like them?” Yusuke asked, his hands still gliding over the delicate lace. “I still don’t know how I feel about them. I’ve never worn something like this before, but I thought you would like it. I suppose part of how I feel about them will be determined by how you feel about them.”

“Were….” Ryuji was forced his clear his dry throat or speaking would be impossible. “Were you uhhh… W-were you wearing those in Mementos? Under y-your costume?”

Yusuke nodded.

“Awesome.”

A laugh came from Yusuke and he sat back down, his legs spread wide open. “I’m glad you think so. It wasn’t a wasted effort then.” The two were silent for a moment, taking each other in. Ryuji couldn’t keep his eyes off of Yusuke’s beautiful body while Yusuke was looking for something different. As much as he wanted to go back to the bed and cover Ryuji’s perfect body with kisses again, he sat right where he was. Ryuji’s eyes were glossy and desperate, but that was no confirmation. Yusuke needed to hear that he was wanted rather than assume it.

“Why don’t you just watch me for now, Ryuji?” After all that had happened between them, Yusuke knew that Ryuji thought he had no shame. He thought that there was nothing that could make Yusuke blush or feel embarrassed, but he was wrong. Here was something Yusuke had never done before. He was willing to put himself in an uncomfortable position in order to make sure Ryuji was comfortable. Wearing panties was something he was unsure about; thank god it worked in his favor. It was a new experience for him and he was still trying to figure out how he felt about it. To top off his nerves, the panties weren’t the only thing unfamiliar to Yusuke. Touching himself in front of another person was also something he’d never done. Would he look attractive? Would he look stupid? Was Ryuji even into voyeurism?

He couldn’t bring himself to keep looking at the man in front of him. His eyes lowered as his hand hesitantly moved up his thigh. He was as erect as Ryuji, and though he tried not to show it, his anxiety was taking over his desire. To help calm him down he pictured in his mind a Ryuji that he knew accepted him and wanted him. He pictured a Ryuji who wasn’t bothered by the idea of sex with another man. He pictured a Ryuji who was falling for him. These images drove him forward, kept him sane enough to keep going. His hand continued to travel up his leg and when it finally reached it’s destination it slowly rubbed between his legs. Yusuke inhaled sharply and closed his eyes, pretending it was Ryuji’s hand touching him like this.

The lace felt good rubbing against his pulsing cock. Perhaps these panties weren’t such a bad thing. He bit his lip as he rubbed harder, trying not to make too much noise. Not yet anyway. Ryuji would have to work if he wanted him to moan for him. Right now, Ryuji was just in Yusuke’s imagination. Pretending his hand was not his own, Yusuke circled his tip with his finger, slowly applying pressure then letting up slightly. It was hardly enough for him. Ryuji was right there! Why couldn’t he just jump on Yusuke and take him now?

The thought of that made Yusuke act on instinct, and he grabbed himself hard and stroked before he could stop himself. He let out a choked gasp, nearly falling out of the chair when his body suddenly became hotter. He swallowed hard and stroked himself again, the lace giving the illusion that it was someone else’s hand touching him. His chest heaved up and down, his breaths coming in sharp pants. While he sped up his strokes his legs began shaking. His trembling started there until it took over his whole body. He tried to get his body in control, but only wound up squirming under his own touch. Yusuke wasn’t one to act rash, but the thought of Ryuji touching him and kissing him drove him to move harder and faster.

Though Yusuke was patient and knew that waiting made the reward even sweeter. Almost as soon as he sped up he began to slow down. He wanted to drag it out more, think more of his perfectly imperfect Ryuji. He remembered how his strong hands held his head still as he sucked him off. He remembered the taste of Ryuji’s cock, how it rammed so mercilessly into his mouth, how he would do anything to devour that cock again. He wanted to be near Ryuji, he craved him, he desired him more than anything. His hand picked up it’s pace again and his lips parted with a moan escaping them. His body convulsed when a spurt of pre-cum left him and the wetness in his panties only helped his hand pump faster.

He could feel the heat rising in his stomach and he forced himself to slow down again. Not that it really mattered if he came. That was the beauty of his nymphomania. There was no such thing as stopping. He could go on all night if challenged to, but the artist in him appreciated taking his time. His body wanted, needed, to feel more. He wanted that fire in him to never stop burning. He wanted to feel the wet lace against his hot skin some more. He wanted to imagine his Ryuji touching him. He wanted to indulge in this fantasy just a little bit more.

“Nghh…” He bit his lip again, though he was unaware of just how much he was moaning. He wasn’t aware of anything at all except the fantasy he had dived into. Ryuji’s strong hand kept touching him, stroking him, milking him for every last drop. His body squirmed in the too-small chair and his free hand ran through his hair before grabbing it tightly. A loud cry of “Ahh!” came from him when he pulled his hair and he tossed his head to the side, pretending Ryuji’s lips were trailing down his neck and collarbone. A part of him knew that this fantasy would eventually become a reality, or rather he hoped it would. There was no guarantee Ryuji would enjoy any of this. Yusuke held onto the dream that Ryuji would find his body tantalizing, that he would crave it as much as Yusuke craved him.

“Nngh… Ahhh!” That same hand that was in his hair found it’s way to Yusuke’s mouth. He ran his finger over his pursed lips, then lightly began sucking on them, all the while imagining they were Ryuji’s. His moans were muffled from his full mouth, and the idea of it reminded Yusuke of Ryuji’s perfect dick. God he wanted it so badly. He wanted to suck on it, to touch it, to feel it inside of him, pushing all of Ryuji’s thunder as deep in him as he could go. Why couldn’t Ryuji understand how badly he wanted him? Yusuke’s thoughts pushed his body farther, and he pumped himself faster. He bit the back of his hand while his hips bucked and cum dribbled from his tip. “R-Ryuji….” The word slipped from his mouth, though he didn’t notice. He was hardly there anymore, lost in the fantasy of performing this dance with the object of his desire. His hand worked hard to stroke and squeeze him while the other was back in his hair, holding his head in place.

That feeling in his stomach grew stronger and he knew he couldn’t control himself. The lace felt so soft and blissful against him. His body tossed in the chair as he worked his hand to the bone. There was a moment before he came, when the thrill of it all settled around him and he was thrown into a beautiful delirium. He could feel Ryuji around him, but a more reasonable part of him broke through and reminded him that this wasn’t really Ryuji at all. Still… He liked to dream. Before Yusuke knew it, his body tensed and his hips jerked as he came into his panties. The stars in his eyes clouded his vision when all was said and done. His body relaxed and per his habit after he came, he made himself as small as he could. He pulled his knees up to his heaving chest, _his fluttering heart_ , and wrapped his arms around them, resting his chin on them. He found comfort in making himself small like this after he came. It felt homey and warm. As he took a few moments to catch his breath he remembered that he wasn’t the only one in the room. His eyes slowly opened, still glossy and dark from his adventure.

“Ryuji?”

The other was sitting on the edge of the bed with a look in his eyes that could only be described as impure and his clothes piled on the floor. His poor, untreated dick was standing straight up and his fingers were griping the blankets so hard Yusuke thought he would rip a hole in them. His eyes were unfocused, but full of lust and staring right at Yusuke.

“Come here,” he said, his voice deep and husky. He backed farther onto the bed to give Yusuke room to sit. The artist didn’t hesitate to stand and move to the bed where he was met with a command of “lay down.” He did as he was told and once he laid out on the bed, Ryuji’s face appeared above his. The other’s eyes drank in every bit of him. They stared right into his own eyes before moving down to his nose, then his lips, his chin, his neck, his chest, his stomach, his cock, his legs, his feet. Everything.

“I… I should have told you to come here sooner. I could have….”

“Made me cum?” Yusuke finished with zero shame.

“Y-yeah.”

Yusuke chuckled before lifting his knees and spreading his legs open. “You still can. Although, you’re feeling neglected, aren’t you?” Yusuke’s hand reached between Ryuji’s legs, causing the other to inhale sharply. He slowly ran his fingers around the other’s thick cock, teasing and toying with him. “I’ll take care of this. You don’t have to worry about me, Ryuji. I—“

“I want to pleasure you too.”

When had Yusuke ever heard Ryuji speak with such resolve? The strength that the artist knew Ryuji carried inside of him made it’s way out.

“Watching you… I don’t think you realize how mesmerizing you are. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. You’re so… So damn beautiful, Yusuke. I think part of the reason I couldn’t interrupt was because I thought I was interrupting something incredible. Something special. I just couldn’t stop watching, but let me be a part of it. Let me pleasure you too.”

Those words hardly sounded like the abrupt, crude, and loud Ryuji. Yusuke couldn’t believe the other was actually saying these things to him. In just the matter of a day all of his fantasies had finally become reality. Here was Ryuji, ready and more than willing to give Yusuke what he needed. They both wanted it, wanted each other.

And Yusuke wasted no time in making it happen.

Yusuke nodded and grabbed Ryuji’s hand, placing it on his panties. “They’re a bit wet now, but don’t they feel nice? The soft lace. My wetness.” He chuckled. “That’s something a woman would say, isn’t it? Wet panties must make you think of women, but don’t get it twisted, Ryuji. I’m a man. I wore these panties because I thought you would find them sexy. I know you like lingerie simply because you like women so I thought I’d try it for myself. It happened to work. Treat me as a man, Ryuji. I’m doing these feminine things for you, and if I like them I’ll continue them for us. But treat me as a man. Do you understand?”

“Sure,” Ryuji nodded, carefully and gently rubbing the other between his legs. His glistening eyes and heavy breaths told Yusuke one thing, while his trembling hand and light touch told him another. The blonde swallowed hard as he carefully ran his fingers along the other’s perfect cock. Everything about Yusuke was perfect. His eyes were sharp and reminded Ryuji of angel wings. His skin was flawless, creamy but with a hint of ice. His hair was soft and even when it was messy like now there was never a strand out of place. And his scent…. Ryuji leaned down and inhaled deeply against Yusuke’s neck.

Intoxicating.

It was the strangest mix of lavender, probably from a body soap, and something sweet like honey or vanilla, then, in the midst of such gentle scents, there was a harsh pang of acrylic, most likely from being surrounded by paint all day. There was nothing else in the world that smelled this unusual yet kept Ryuji coming back for more. Before he could stop himself, his tongue lightly lapped at the other’s skin and the taste sent a shudder down the athlete’s body. Salty sweat mixed with a creamy, tempting taste of milk and honey. Yusuke himself was a walking masterpiece. Everything about him screamed artistic and beautiful. He should be displayed in a museum so everyone could get the opportunity to study this perfect man.

No.

The moment Ryuji thought it, he instantly took it back. He wanted to be the only one allowed in this exhibit. He wanted to be the only one to see Yusuke’s face contort in such pleasure. He wanted to be the only one to inhale this scent, to hear him moan, to touch him so shamelessly. No one else could appreciate Yusuke the way he could. Not the best art critic nor the highest ranked art student. Not Ann nor Akira nor Makoto. No one. No one could see Yusuke like this except Ryuji.

“Hey? Are you alright?”

“Huh?”

Without realizing it, Ryuji had stopped toying with Yusuke entirely and had wrapped both of his arms tightly around his body. If he hadn’t been blushing before, he was now. How childish could he get? How lost in his thoughts was he that all he could manage to do was hold Yusuke like a stuffed toy? Or rather how insane was Yusuke driving him that he lost every ounce of his control?

“You seem a bit… Anxious. We can stop, Ryuji. You know I don’t want you feeling like—“

“No! No, we don’t have to stop! I just… I mean…” He didn’t know what he meant. He was drunk off of Yusuke’s everything, yet at the same time he didn’t know his way around his beautiful masterpiece. He truly was some lowly, uneducated delinquent trying to navigate around a royal and enigmatic sculpture. He had no clue what he was doing and his instincts were letting him down.

“Here. Why don’t you let me take over?”

“Huh?”

Even his words were failing him. All he could do was gasp when Yusuke took a hold of his firm cock and began stroking it. The artist moved so he was sitting between Ryuji’s legs, one hand teasing and toying with everything it could while the other was busy stroking Ryuji’s perfectly erect dick. Just being able to touch Ryuji like this was a pleasure for Yusuke. He never imagined that the athlete would actually agree to his terms, yet here they were. It was almost too good to be true. The moans Ryuji let out made Yusuke feel like he was in a dream. The perfect cock twitching and leaking drove him up the wall. Needless to say, the view from up top was nice. There was more to Ryuji then just his captivating moans and his delicious cock, though. Yusuke bit his lip as he took in the sight of those perfect abs, that hard chest, those cute lips, those confused brown eyes. Ryuji was so….

Innocent.

“How are you feeling, Ryuji?”

“Fuck….”

Yusuke chuckled. “I figured as much. Don’t worry. I like playing with you like this.”

“I should be…. I should… Fuck!” Ryuji raised his arms over his head as the pleasure coursing through him grew more intense, though he couldn’t appreciate it fully. Even pleasure can be clouded over by guilt. He should have been doing this for Yusuke. So far the other hadn’t gotten any kind of pleasure from him while Ryuji was getting sent to heights he never thought possible. Every stroke, every touch, every bit of Yusuke sent Ryuji spiraling, hanging on by just a little thread. His mind was nothing more than a jumbled mess while Yusuke played with him, and his body was trying just as hard to get used to everything that was being thrown at it.

Yusuke’s long fingers knew exactly how to work Ryuji. He pressed his thumb against the other’s tip, smiling as Ryuji squirmed under him. He slowed and sped up his strokes as he pleased, each time watching Ryuji groan or whine. The blond had become Yusuke’s favorite new toy, and he was enjoying slowly breaking it.

Tonight had been quicker than the last. It seemed Ryuji didn’t even realized he’d cum until it already happened. His body tensed and jerked, and for a moment all he could see was a bright light. He didn’t want it to go away, but it slowly faded, leaving him with his piercing reality. He would have to face this flawless being yet again. Ryuji didn’t want to open his eyes. He didn’t want to see Yusuke. Or rather he didn’t want Yusuke to see him. Why Yusuke would choose someone like him for this was beyond him. Eventually he gathered the courage to open his eyes, and his breath caught in his throat when he did. Not only that, but his dick almost stood erect again.

Yusuke’s chest and stomach was covered in his thick cum. The blonde drank in the sight of the other, lightly whimpering at how erotic this whole thing was. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but all that came out were stutters and small whines. Yusuke himself looked rather satisfied as he fell back onto the bed beside the other.

“Thank you, Ryuji,” he breathed out, a pleased smile on his face. “That was more fun than I could have imagined.”

“R-really? But I—“

“You’ll become more comfortable, I hope. Like I said, I’m not expecting you to be completely open to this right off the bat. The fact we’ve gotten this far so fast is shocking to me. Perhaps you’re more interested in men than you initially thought.” A light chuckle left Yusuke as his eyes closed in quiet relaxation. His body felt lighter than it had in a long time, and the pressures of the world around him seemed to never exist in the first place. For the first time in forever he was at peace.

“Thank you so much, Ryuji.” The words left his mouth in just a whisper. Had Ryuji not been staring so intensely at the other he might have missed them. It felt wrong to him. Why was Yusuke thanking him when so far he had gotten nothing out of this? Ryuji had been the only one receiving pleasure while Yusuke was the one giving it. It wasn’t fair and yet Yusuke was thanking him.

“Maybe…” Ryuji bit his lip as he got up and headed toward the bathroom. “Maybe I’m just more interested in you, not men in general. Is that a bad thing?”

“No. I’d be flattered if I was the only male that ever caught your eye.” The bed felt cold when Ryuji got up. Yusuke’s brow knitted as a sudden uncomfortable chill swept over him. He almost cried out for Ryuji to come back, but he didn’t have a chance before the other was in the bed again, a towel in hand. Yusuke nearly gasped as the supposedly rugged athlete began to run the towel gently over his stomach and chest.

“You don’t have to clean me, Ryuji,” Yusuke said.

“I want to.”

They were silent for a while, Ryuji’s hand taking it’s time to run the towel up and down Yusuke’s skin, making sure to get every little bit of cum that covered him. He smiled as he did this, his eyes trailing the perfect body before him up and down. “Don’t get the wrong idea though. I loved seeing you like this. I’d love to see it again.”

He smiled wider at Yusuke’s quick laugh. “So this is a fetish of yours, then?”

“I guess,” Ryuji answered with a shrug.

“You mean you don’t know?” Yusuke let out a soft breath as his body began to tingle under Ryuji’s touch. “You touching me like this… I promise it will turn me on. You see, I’m very sensitive to touch.”

“Are you?”

“Yes. You could say it’a fetish of mine. Touching me like this….” He stretched his body and moaned, exposing his neck to Ryuji, not that he expected the other to take any action. “I love it. I love how it feels. Perhaps that’s part of the reason why my experiment with the panties worked so well. Something so soft against me… It felt amazing.” He took Ryuji’s hand in his own, then pulled it to his lips where he placed a kiss on it. “Tell me, Ryuji. What’s something you like? Do you like being touched like this? Or are the type to jump right in rather than deal in foreplay? You seemed to like watching me touch myself. Is that a fetish of yours? Perhaps you actually want to be the one to wear panties?”

“Hell no,” Ryuji said a bit too quickly. He leaned back against the headrest, absent-mindedly running his fingers along Yusuke’s lips as they were kissed. “I guess… I guess I never thought about those kinds of things. Fetishes and stuff. I don’t really know what I like and what I don’t like.”

“I see.” As he contemplated this, Yusuke kept Ryuji’s hand against his lips. He stared intensely at the ceiling while his mind worked a mile a minute. All he could think about was his sweet Ryuji. His poor Ryuji. His innocent Ryuji. His most delectable Ryuji. A few things had become abundantly clear to the artist in this short time. First of all, Ryuji was a virgin. This was his first encounter with anything sexual, and Yusuke took that responsibility seriously. Secondly, not only was Ryuji a virgin, but it seemed he hadn’t done much exploring with his own body yet. He didn’t know what he liked, what he didn’t like, and more importantly he didn’t realize just how stunning he was. There was an undeniable lack of confidence in Ryuji, which may have been why he couldn’t bring himself to do much with Yusuke yet, normal nerves aside.

“Ryuji,” Yusuke started, sitting up and winding an arm through the other’s to bring them closer. “You don’t have to visit me every day. I know it’s a lot to ask and I understand that you have a life outside of this.”

“Bored of me already?”

“Not at all,” Yusuke said, mentally ticking off another sign of Ryuji’s lack of confidence. “I… I would rather you visit me as often as you could. I’m asking you to slow down because I want you to take some time to think about what you would like from me.”

“I mean… The panties are a good start.”

“Clearly.”

“But what about you?”

“I know what I like and what I want. You don’t. I want you to think about it, Ryuji. I want you to think about what makes you comfortable and uncomfortable. I want you to think about what new things you want to try. I want you to think about how I can pleasure you most. We’ll talk about what we both require from each other after you’ve figured out what you need. Alright?”

Ryuji didn’t answer. A sigh was all Yusuke received. It hurt him to know that Ryuji was stressing over this. This poor man was dealing with far more than Yusuke had anticipated. Lack of confidence. Lack of understanding of his own mind and body. Lack of experience. This adventure wasn’t supposed to be hard or stressful for either one of them. It was supposed to be fun. Delightful. Sexy. Yusuke feared Ryuji didn’t feel that way. He tried comforting his companion, but the blonde quickly stood and began to put his clothes back on.

“I’ll think about it, okay?” Ryuji finally said. “I guess… I don’t know. I don’t want this to become one-sided. Or like… I don’t know. You know so much about this stuff already, and I just—“

“It’s alright, Ryuji. That’s why we’ll work through this together. Remember, I want you more than anything and you’ve already made me happier than I could have imagined. So take pride in that. You’re… You’re incredible, Ryuji.”

The other nervously scratched the back of his head, a blush crossing his cheeks. “Thanks. You’re umm… You’re perfect. A masterpiece.”

Yusuke laughed, though took Ryuji’s hand to give it more kisses. “I’m hardly anything so exquisite. But I love that you see me as such.”

He didn’t want to smile so widely, but Ryuji couldn’t help the goofy grin that came over him. He nodded at the other and ran his hand across Yusuke’s cheek. “You are a masterpiece. Really.” As he headed towards the door his mind was racing. How was he supposed to continue on with this when he was too nervous to even touch Yusuke? How was Yusuke supposed to get any pleasure out of this if he couldn’t get himself together? How was he supposed to know what he liked and didn’t like? Where did he learn about what to try and what might be a bit too extreme for him?

With all of these stresses weighing on his shoulders, Ryuji gave Yusuke one last look, a wave, and a “see you soon,” before trapping himself alone with his buzzing thoughts. From the barrage of his clouded mind, one idea came forward that was clearer than the rest.

“I need to talk to Akira.”

 


	3. Akira's Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking by me! I know I'm slow to release chapters, but here is chapter three! I was inspired and motivated by the kindest comment on chapter 2. I hope that person is satisfied with this one ^_^ I've even already started on chapter 4 and I love it so far. So, this time around Akira makes his appearance and he has some advice for Ryuji! He's a great leader, right? Anyway, go on and enjoy the chapter!

Sleep did not come easy that night. In fact, it was rare that Ryuji ever slept well. Being constantly haunted by nightmares of his leg getting broken made it easy for Ryuji to become an insomniac. Normally he would lie awake and think of how that damned man ruined his future as a runner. He would think about how he let his poor mother down. He would think about getting stronger with his persona. He would think about how he could be useful to his friends, especially Akira who he thanked for pulling him out of his depression. Sure, he was still pissed about his leg, but at least now he could say he was doing something about it. Now he had others to back him up. He finally had people to rely on.

Thoughts would come and go in his mind during those late hours. Flutter in, then flutter out. He would be thinking about Mementos one minute, then thinking about how he actually knows a talking cat the next. His mind was always active at night. It ran as fast as he used to. At least there was something about him that was fast, even if it only occurred at night. This night, however, he didn’t think about his leg, his mother, Akira, or Mementos. Only one thing was front and center on his mind.

Yusuke.

Yusuke Kitagawa.

Fox.

His “kind-of” friend.

The two of them had gone from talking to each other the least between the entire group to almost sleeping together. It was inevitable that they would sleep with each other unless Ryuji decided he couldn’t go that far. Initially, Yusuke made it seem like there were no other options for Ryuji except to have sex with him and now… Now he saw an entirely new side of Yusuke. It was only a few hours ago that Yusuke had put himself on hold, forced himself to take Ryuji’s feelings into account, place himself on the back burner in favor of the other. For Ryuji, that kindness was nothing short of extraordinary.

“Well, he’s extraordinary so….” Ryuji whispered into the darkness of his room. Yusuke was more than extraordinary. He’d said it before and he’d happily say it again: Yusuke was a masterpiece.

“So beautiful….”

Ryuji’s half-lidded eyes stared into nothing as he thought about his… Lover? Plus one? Fuck buddy? What even were they? Friends with benefits seemed the best fit, but Ryuji still felt like Yusuke wasn’t benefitting much from their relationship. On the other hand, Ryuji was more than pleased. He thought about the show Yusuke had put on for him, how delicious he looked in those panties and stockings, how badly he wanted to grab him, throw him on the bed, and rock his world.

But he couldn’t do that.

“Goddammit.”

He’d have to reach Yusuke’s level before he could even think about doing something like that, yet someone like him could never reach that level. He could climb for a million years and Yusuke would still be out of reach.

“But he’s not out of reach, you fucking dummy. He wants you! He said so. He said it more than once. You’re just too stupid to understand him. He likes you _because_ you’re lower than him. He likes you _because_ you’re a goddamn mess. He likes you because… Well, I guess because you’re the complete opposite of him. He’s so perfect and you’re so… Not.”

Night was also the time Ryuji enjoyed talking to himself. There was a lot he couldn’t say in front of his friends, but in the privacy of his bedroom and the darkness, nothing was secret. He groaned in frustration, turning on his side and wishing he could pull Yusuke from his thoughts. It had only been two days and now nothing else was occupying his mind. Just the beautiful artist.

Ryuji thought about him all night. By the time morning showed itself, Ryuji had gotten a total of zero sleep while his stress levels had exceeded far what he imagined. The zero sleep was nothing he wasn’t used to. His stress levels were another matter. He hadn’t felt this much anxiety in a long, long time. He stopped stressing about his leg ages ago. Even now when he thought about it, it wasn’t stressful; it was a new challenge to overcome. Yusuke was on a whole different tier of stress.

With Yusuke still on his mind, Ryuji trudged to school (showing up late of course). Paying attention in class was something he was never really good at anyway, so he was unconcerned when Yusuke continued to fill his mind. He thanked the gods that the artist went to a different school or he doubted he would even be able to move, let alone pay attention. Only when it was lunchtime did he finally get the opportunity to unleash everything he had bottled up. He met with his friends on the rooftop, though didn’t hesitate to kick a few of them out.

“Can you guys give us some privacy?”

“Excuse you?” If Ann’s hand wasn’t attached to her hip she may have slapped Ryuji right in the face. Makoto didn’t look amused either.

“I need to speak to Akira,” Ryuji said, not caring that Ann was ready to knock his teeth out at his rudeness. “Go on, I’ll text you when we’re done.”

“Yeah, no. You don’t get to decide where Makoto and I eat lunch. If you think—“

“It’s fine, Ann.”

Ann’s potential rampage was interrupted by Akira’s relaxed voice. He gave the women a soft smile, took Morgana out of his bag, and handed him to Makoto.

“Why do I gotta leave too?” Morgana yelled, though Akira ignored him. He walked closer to the girls and spoke quietly, though he knew Ryuji could hear him.

“He wouldn’t ask to speak privately if it weren’t important. If this could wait, he would have text me or invited me out somewhere. Let’s give it to him just this once, okay? I think he’d appreciate it more than he’s letting on.”

Their glares told Akira that neither Ann nor Makoto was keen on the idea, but after some time they surrendered. Ryuji didn’t think he’d ever heard Ann sigh so dramatically.

“Next time we’ll kick you boys out. So there!”

“So there!” Ryuji mocked her, laughing at her aggravated grunt as the ladies left them alone. Just like that, the roof was as silent as a monastery. Normally they would all be giggling, joking, making fun of one another, but now it was just the two of them, Ryuji and Akira. In some ways it felt odd being alone with the leader. It wasn’t like it never happened before, but this was different. Today, Ryuji was going to bring their friendship to a new level. He needed to talk about something that he never imagined he would talk about with Akira.

“Is everything alright, Ryuji?”

Just like the day before when Akira realized something was off with Fox, he could see straight through Ryuji. He knew right away that he wasn’t himself. It’s what made him a great leader. It was why Ryuji decided to go along with him in the first place. That caring, considerate, and understanding nature of his was too much to turn away from.

“Nothing’s really wrong, I guess. I just…” Ryuji flopped down by the fence and leaned against it, not bothering to look over at Akira when he sat next to him. He heard him begin to eat his food, but the last thing Ryuji was concerned about was eating. There were bigger things on his mind.  

“So…” He began, not knowing exactly how to reveal enough, but not too much. “I guess to be frank I’m… I’m kind of seeing someone.”

“Kind of?”

“Yeah. We’re not dating. Honestly, we don’t even really like each other in that way. Our relationship is uhh… Purely physical.”

“Oh.”

Ryuji didn’t even want to think about how red his face was turning. He’d already crossed the bridge so now the best thing to do was to keep crossing it. Akira now knew that he did indeed have a sex life, so there was no going back now.

“The uhh… The problem is that this person is… They’re different. On a whole other scale really.”

“Are they pretty?”

Had it been anyone but Akira, Ryuji would have laughed right in their face. “Pretty? So damn pretty. Beautiful. Like a… Like a goddamn work of art, you know? A masterpiece.”

“A masterpiece? That’s not something I would ever expect to hear from you.”

“Like I said, man, this person is in a class of their own. I don’t even begin to compare. If they’re a masterpiece, then I’m just some kid’s jacked up drawing.”  

“Even a kid’s drawing is a masterpiece to someone. You shouldn’t talk down about yourself, Ryuji. This person… If she cares about you, then she won’t care where you come from or what school you go to or if you’re into the same things she is. She’ll like you regardless of all that stuff.”

She? Ryuji’s heart stopped in his chest. There was no reason for Akira to think this person wasn’t a girl, yet it was still a shock to hear the word out loud. She. It made Ryuji’s stomach turn just thinking about it. When had the idea of being with a girl repulsed him? Never. Not until now anyway. Now the only person Ryuji wanted to be with was Yusuke. The only person he wanted to share his body with was Yusuke. All he wanted was Yusuke. No other man, nor woman, would do.

Of course, he couldn’t explain that to Akira just yet. “She said something similar, but she’s still way out of my league.” Ryuji silently apologized to Yusuke for calling him a girl, but it was the only way to keep the secret. “Besides, it’s not like either of us are interested in pursuing a real relationship. We kind of just… Want to have sex.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“No, but…. I don’t know. I’m trying, but I can’t seem to actually, you know… Please her.” This conversation was getting more and more embarrassing by the moment, but Akira, just like always, remained unfazed. He calmly ate his snacks while giving his friend his undivided attention.

Just like a leader.

“She asked me to think about things that I want. Things I like. You know…”

“Fetishes?”

“Yeah.”

Akira nodded in understanding. No one would have thought that Ryuji would struggle in bed with a woman, but this news didn’t come as a surprise to Akira. He could see past that over-the-top facade that his friend liked to play up. There was a lack of confidence deep within Ryuji. Not a day went by that Akira didn’t try to help him overcome this. The fact that Ryuji was here, asking for advice, showed that the athlete was trying on his own to fix his confidence problem. The first step was admitting the problem and the second was asking for help. If Akira couldn’t do much to help his friend, then hopefully this girl he’d found could pick up the pieces of a broken runner.

“It’s hard to think about fetishes when you haven’t ever done anything like that before,” Akira said. “I suppose you could just take from TV. There was a cop show on in LeBlanc the other day and it kind of made me curious about handcuffs.”

“Handcuffs?”

“Yeah.” The mischievous grin didn’t go unnoticed by Ryuji. “I think I’d like to try something like that in bed.”

Even in the midst of this awkward conversation Ryuji couldn’t help but laugh at his friend. “Are you serious, man? We’re supposed to be running from cuffs, not trying to get in them!”

Akira laughed right alongside Ryuji. “I know, I know! Perhaps it’s the irony that I find attractive. I don’t know. The point is that you can find things like that everywhere. We can even go to the red-light district and browse the shops there. Well, window shop. They won’t let us in, but you know.”

Ryuji shifted uncomfortably. If there was anyone he would go to those shops with it was Akira, but the very thought of going to some place like that made him queasy. He had an idea of what kind of things would be in those places and none of them appealed to him. Even worse, what if Yusuke was into that stuff? What if he was into whips and chains and handcuffs and stuff Ryuji didn’t know existed?

“You know, Ryuji, fetishes aren’t all about whips and chains and handcuffs and stuff like that. You don’t have to immediately dive into the hardcore stuff when you’re only now finding out what it is that you like and don’t like.”

Akira, the mind-reader. Then again, that ability to know exactly what to say was just one of many reasons why he was an excellent leader.

“So then where do I start?” Ryuji finally found himself comfortable enough in this strange talk to start eating his food. He began snacking on some chips while thinking about what might turn his awkward sexual nature into something he could be proud of. Something Yusuke could love.

“I would say start with little things. Start with things that you feel have no risk. Like voyeurism.”

Ryuji began choking on his chips, which in turn made Akira laugh out loud.

“Perhaps I struck something?” he said through his laughter while patting Ryuji on his back. “I bet you’re a guy who likes to look from a distance before jumping right in. Why don’t you try that? Voyeurism. In fact, you can add that onto another fetish. I’ll bet my knife that you’d like to see this lady friend in a maid costume.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Ryuji yelled, knocking Akira over when he wouldn’t stop laughing. Still, the leader had a point. Watching Yusuke last night was far more arousing than Ryuji thought it would be. The way he moved, the noises he made, those sexy panties, the way those stockings hugged his thighs, how he looked when he finally orgasmed… It was all so captivating. Before Ryuji knew it, he was dying to fuck Yusuke as hard as he could, then when he finally got the chance to he froze.

Then again, perhaps if Yusuke had been wearing something else, a maid costume for instance, Ryuji might have been able to keep going. Perhaps it would have given him even more drive or maybe it would have made him forget how perfect Yusuke was compared to him (unlikely). Perhaps just having that little something to push him over the edge would have helped out last night. A maid costume could have been perfect. Seeing Yusuke’s erection peeking out under the little, lacy skirt, along with those thigh highs, and maybe a pair of heels to pull it all together. Something sexier than the panties, like a thong, would have made him scream. Then when Yusuke bent down the skirt would ride up and Ryuji would have a perfect view of that beautiful, firm ass of his. God, how Ryuji would have loved to bend him over and spank him, turning his cute ass from pale white to bright red. He wouldn’t have done it too hard, just hard enough to make Yusuke beg for him, then—

“Whoa, you must be thinking about that maid costume, huh? You’re blushing.”

Akira’s face was suddenly inches away from Ryuji’s, a wide grin across his lips. With a growl and a “back off, man!” Ryuji pushed his friend away from him, trying to ignore the laughter ringing in his ears. Had Akira not been laughing at him, Ryuji would have thanked him. His advice was spot on. It was more than spot on. Somehow Akira always knew exactly what his friends needed, whether in Mementos or in the normal world. He truly was the perfect leader. So perfect that it still shocked Ryuji that Yusuke came to him with this strange request rather than Akira. Ryuji would have bet money that Akira wouldn’t freeze up or leave Yusuke to do all of the work. Someone as perfect as Yusuke deserved to be with someone equally as perfect.

Yet, there was no changing this. There were no switching roles. For whatever crazy reason, Yusuke wanted Ryuji, and the athlete was slowly warming up to the idea of having Yusuke as a plus one. In just two nights Ryuji had become territorial of his friend. He wanted to share his body with Yusuke, and god help anyone who tried to take the beautiful artist away from him. That included Akira.

It wasn’t that he was in love. It was too soon for something like that. Yusuke and Ryuji hadn’t been good friends before now, and even now they were only sex buddies. This protectiveness that Ryuji was building for the other stemmed from his unconfident nature. Here was finally someone who looked at Ryuji and saw someone handsome. Here was someone who wanted this broken athlete for everything he was. Here was someone who didn’t judge Ryuji for his flaws; on the contrary, Yusuke embraced them. He wanted them. He wanted everything Ryuji was from his perfections to his imperfections. The fact that someone wanted him so wholly, without asking him to change a single thing about himself, made Ryuji want to hold onto him. He craved that acceptance, and Yusuke was giving it to him fully. Of course, Akira accepted him fully, but not like this. This was different. This was a whole other ride that Ryuji was enjoying.

“I think what you should do,” Akira’s voice rang through Ryuji’s thoughts. At least he had finally stopped laughing. “Is ask this girl to send you nude pictures.”

“What??” Several birds flew away at the sound of Ryuji’s shrill voice. “Dude, I can’t do that! Where would you even get an idea like that?”

“It’s not so far-fetched, Ryuji. If you think you might be into voyeurism, this is a good way to find out. If she’s as open as you say she is, then she won’t have a problem with it. She might even enjoy it. You never know until you ask, and that is the point of this, right? To find out what it is that you like and don’t like?”

“Well, yeah but… I can’t just… I can’t… Dude, I can’t just ask for a nude pic!”

“Why not?”

“Because!”

“Because…?”

“Because!”

“You’re embarrassed?”

“Well duh! You don’t have an ounce of fucking shame, man!”

Akira snickered and stood, reaching his hand out to help Ryuji to his feet as well. “You must really like this girl if you’re this worried about how she thinks of you. Don’t worry. I bet you’ll be happy with the answer you get from her. Just ask.”

****

And ask he did. For as apprehensive as Ryuji was talking to Akira, he didn’t waste any time in sending Yusuke a text as soon as the next class started.

[Ryuji]: Hey. So I think I might have figured out something I like.

He didn’t have to wait long for an answer. He hid his phone under his desk as he read the response.

[Yusuke]: Oh? And what might that be?

Ryuji took a deep breath to settle his nerves.

[Ryuji]: I think I like… You know. Watching. Looking at you.

[Yusuke]: So voyeurism? We talked about that last night, didn’t we?

[Ryuji]: Don’t say it so bluntly!

[Yusuke]: You don’t have to be delicate with me, Ryuji. Bluntness works better in this situation. So perhaps next time we meet up I can put on a show for you?

Here it was. The moment of truth. Here was Ryuji’s opportunity to show Yusuke that he could actually take control.

[Ryuji]: Why wait til next time we meet? You could do it now.

The pause in a response was one second too long for Ryuji, and his small rise in confidence immediately plummeted.

[Yusuke]: You want me to send you a picture?

[Ryuji]: I mean you don’t have to! I just thought… well… I don’t know what I thought. Nvm.

[Yusuke]: Don’t back out now, Ryuji! I liked your aggressiveness. You should have more confidence in your actions. You just might like the result.

Ryuji didn’t reply back. He didn’t know how. Here again was Yusuke encouraging him, telling him that he truly liked him and the things he did, and yet Ryuji couldn’t feel it. He couldn’t see what Yusuke saw. When he looked in the mirror, Ryuji didn’t see a confident, alluring man. He saw someone broken, and now that broken someone was desperately trying to reach for something that was so far away.

Yet this thing that was so far away was desperately reaching for him too.

After a few moments of just staring at his phone, Ryuji noticed the “…” indicating that Yusuke was typing something.

[Yusuke]: Are you alright? I’ll bet you’re thinking hard about what you just asked me to do, aren’t you? It’s funny. You’re not the kind of person to think a lot, but when you do it’s about all the wrong things.

[Ryuji]: Was that an insult?!

[Yusuke]: Well there was no hesitation in that reply. Don’t worry, Ryuji. I’m actually very happy to send you pictures of me. I find the fact that you’re asking me to do this during school even sexier. You’ll have your pictures soon. Just give me fifteen minutes.

Fifteen minutes. Just fifteen? In that short amount of time Ryuji would actually have nude photos of Yusuke on his phone? The blood rushed to his cheeks and in a matter of time it would rush elsewhere. His eyes traveled from the clock to his phone every single second. The droning of the teacher was even more background than usual. Listening to the lecture was impossible when in just fifteen minutes Ryuji would be in a world of delight.

The clock ticked slowly, making Ryuji’s anxiousness rise. He wondered exactly what kind of pictures Yusuke would take for him. What if he was wearing panties again? God, the thought of him wearing lingerie at school all day almost made Ryuji moan out loud. Then to think he would get to see what was underneath those panties…. The thought made him stop short. He had never seen Yusuke naked. He had touched him, he’d seen his erection through his pants and panties, but he’d never seen… It.

Now he began to question himself. Was it right to see him naked through pictures instead of in person? After all, Yusuke was a masterpiece. Seeing him naked in a photo would be like looking at the Mona Lisa on Google images. There was no way a photo could do him justice. Or perhaps he could look at it another way. Maybe he needed to work his way up to seeing Yusuke in person. Most people saw the Mona Lisa in a textbook or on Google before going to France to see it in person. Maybe Ryuji needed to see the picture first, get awed by it, and then be even more starstruck when he saw the real deal.

He nearly jumped out of his seat when his phone vibrated. He looked around him; thankfully no one seemed to notice his panic.

[Yusuke]: Sorry to keep you waiting. Are you ready, darling?

[Ryuji]: Hell yeah!

Again, time froze as Ryuji waited for the pictures. He was about to lose his mind from excitement and then finally… Finally his phone vibrated and a picture showed up in his chat with Yusuke.

It took everything in Ryuji not to gasp out loud. He bit his wrist just to keep from making any accidental noises. Who would have thought that a simple picture would make his heart race and his breathing heavy? Well, this was more than a simple picture. It was a masterpiece. His own personal masterpiece that only he could look at. Only he could admire this beauty. Only he could fall apart at the seams at the sight of this image.

He gulped loudly and lowered the hand he was biting. A part of him was aware that he shouldn’t draw any attention to himself, but just a small part. He was mostly focused on the gorgeous man in his phone. God what he wouldn’t do to climb on top of that perfectly lithe body and touch and kiss that creamy, delicious skin. For a moment he forgot all about how nervous he had gotten the night before. If Yusuke were right in front of him nothing could have stopped him from ravishing the lovely artist.

He gulped again as his eyes took in Yusuke’s seductive face. His eyes were piercing, staring right into Ryuji’s, begging him to screw him as hard as he could. His pale cheeks looked flush while his teeth gripped the bottom of his shirt, holding it up to reveal his beautifully toned, but slim abs, his cute nipples, his supple bellybutton. Then the farther down Ryuji went, the harder it was to keep his composure. Yusuke wasn’t wearing any pants and apparently the pair of panties he wore yesterday wasn’t the only pair he owned. This time, Ryuji couldn’t help the whimper that left his mouth, though he managed to cover it with a cough to avoid suspicious eyes.

Red.

God, Yusuke looked good in red. Ryuji made the picture bigger and focused on the panties. His mouth watered as he stared at the bulge forming under them. Yusuke, being the tease he is, hooked two fingers through one side of the panties and stretched them while his other hand barely slid inside of them. Ryuji wished Yusuke pulled them down, but he also knew he wouldn’t be able to control himself in front of all these people if he got to see what was hiding under those cute panties.

Though something was off.

The picture was beautiful. It was everything Ryuji dreamed of. He could stare at it for hours and imagine all the things he wanted to do to Yusuke, so why did he feel something was off about the photo? He didn’t mind staring at the picture for as long as he could to find what he thought was wrong with it. His smile was unmistakable as he went back and stared at each portion of Yusuke’s perfect body. His eyes, his cheeks, his lips, his chest, his hands, his—

His hands.

[Ryuji]: Dude!! This isn’t a selfie!

[Yusuke]: I send you a picture of myself nearly entirely exposed and that’s all you can notice?

[Ryuji]: Dude, both of your hands are on your panties! That means you didn’t take this photo! Someone else is there with you!

[Yusuke]: I wish you could see me laughing at you. You’re more observant than I thought, Ryuji. But you’re right. I didn’t think I could take a perfect picture with just a selfie so I asked a friend of mine to take the photo for me. You must be jealous. Or protective? Are we exclusive now?

[Ryuji]: Yusuke!

[Yusuke]: Shut up.

Before Ryuji had a chance to respond back, Yusuke sent him another picture. This one was indeed a selfie, and it was taken with a pretty girl. The two were smiling widely, clearly having fun at Ryuji’s expense. As he stared at the photo he cocked his head to the side. The pieces of the puzzle slowly came together, but Yusuke didn’t leave his friend to figure it all out on his own.

[Yusuke]: Please trust that you’re the only person I have eyes for right now. I don’t want any man seeing me like this except you. And I certainly don’t trust just any female to keep my secret. Meet Hifumi. She’s a good friend of mine and a shogi genius to boot. To top off her talents, she happens to be an excellent photographer. There was no way I was about to send you a half-assed, poorly photographed, badly lighted selfie of my body. She took the photo, knew exactly how I should pose my body, and even adjusted the composition to make it more beautiful. Plus she has no qualms about sneaking into the men’s bathroom with me, though it wasn’t my first choice for background. Listen, I just wanted to make sure you got the perfect photo of me, Ryuji. You were brave to ask and I wanted to make sure the reward was worth your risk.

Ryuji was glad Yusuke wasn’t there to see his stunned face. He’d been too quick to judge. Ryuji wasn’t the type to have trust issues, but he was the type to get defensive over his favorite things. The thought of someone else seeing his masterpiece naked made him jealous faster than even he knew, but it was for nothing. Yusuke just wanted to give Ryuji the best picture he could, and he chose someone he trusted to help him. That was all. Nothing more, nothing less. Yusuke was more considerate and loyal than Ryuji gave him credit for.

It took him a minute to notice he had stopped breathing. Ryuji exhaled deeply, then inhaled and exhaled again. In the midst of him trying to control his breathing, he felt warm and a small smile formed on his face. The realization hit him full force: Yusuke was loyal. He wanted to be with him and only him. When had Ryuji ever felt such affection, and when had he ever wanted to return that affection? He was angry that Yusuke wasn’t in his arms right now, that they weren’t hugging and nuzzling and cuddling and whatever it was couples did. The best they could do right now was text… Except that Ryuji had forgotten to text back.

[Yusuke]: Great, you’ve disappeared on me. Well, since you didn’t even compliment my first photo you only get one more. I had four to send you, but this is your punishment.

[Ryuji]: For real??

[Yusuke]: For real.

Ryuji was ready to fight back with everything he had, but a photo came through before he could say anything. His breath caught in his throat and his hands shook as he stared at the picture. Yusuke was bent over, his backside facing the camera. Turned out the panties were even more perfect than Ryuji realized. The back was sheer, revealing Yusuke’s amazingly round and gorgeous ass. The photo was even sexier with Yusuke turning his face around towards the camera, his eyes daring Ryuji to come for him. Yusuke’s hand was right above his ass, his long fingers teasing right where he knew Ryuji was wanting to go.

[Yusuke]: You haven’t seen me naked yet, have you? Do you like this little tease?

Ryuji gulped, unable to keep his hands steady long enough to type back.

[Yusuke]: Don’t you want to touch me? More than that, right? Perhaps you want to slide your fingers in those dark places? Oh, maybe I’m underestimating you. Maybe you want to slide more than just your fingers inside of me. I’d like that, you know. I’d love that.

“I’ve got to use the restroom!” Ryuji didn’t wait for permission from the teacher as he ran from the classroom. He bolted to the bathroom, which was thankfully empty, and locked himself in one of the stalls. He knew he was taking a risk, but his last one had paid off. This one might too. He clicked on Yusuke’s name on his phone and watched as the number was instantly dialed. If Yusuke was still in the bathroom he might pick up and—

“My, my. Are you that eager, sweetie?”

Ryuji was unbuckling his pants as he listened to his lover’s voice. His eyes drooped as the lovely sound filled his ears.

“Hi, Yusuke,” he said, his voice thick and raspy, which didn’t go unnoticed by the artist.

“Hey. I miss you.”

Ryuji smiled widely as he gripped his throbbing cock. “I miss you too. Not that we won’t see each other when we go to Mementos tonight, but still.”

Yusuke chuckled. “I’d rather spend my night alone with you than in Mementos.”

“I’m glad to hear that. I’d rather spend my night with you too.” Ryuji squeezed his eyes shut as he began stroking his needy cock. “I’d like to get a better look at those panties.”

The sweet laugh that traveled through Ryuji’s ears spurred him on. He stroked himself faster as he imagined Yusuke’s warm smile, his gentle eyes, his creamy skin….

“You’ll see these panties soon enough, Ryuji. Don’t you worry. In the meantime, I bet you found an empty bathroom to touch yourself in. I’m glad to know I managed to get you all hot and bothered.”

“It doesn’t take much from you.” Ryuji’s words were broken up by light gasps. He tried to keep his voice down, knowing that anyone walking in the hallway would hear him if he got too loud. He didn’t realize how hard that would be. The more Yusuke spoke, the more Ryuji’s desire for him grew.

“I wish I was there with you now, Ryuji. I wish I could see you touching yourself. I want to be the one touching you. Can you imagine it, Ryuji? God, I can see it now. My hands running down your chest and stomach. My lips on your neck. My breath tickling your skin.”

Ryuji licked his lips at the sound of Yusuke’s voice. “God, yes. Yes, I want that so badly, Yusuke.” He whimpered as he stroked himself harder. It was hardly enough now. After knowing Yusuke’s touch, after feeling his hands on him and his lips on him, after experiencing that delicious, moist tongue running up and down his cock, touching himself wasn’t enough. His desperation for Yusuke was hitting levels he never thought possible. “I need you, Yusuke,” he whispered through his heavy pants. “I need you.”

“I know, my love. I need you too. I need to be near you. I don’t want to wait anymore, but don’t worry. Remember what I said a few days ago? The wait makes the reward even sweeter. For now, tell me what it’s like. Tell me what it’s like to hear my voice in your ear. To be touching yourself in public. To know how badly my body craves you only for you to have to wait until tomorrow to have it.”

Ryuji stroked himself harder and faster. He couldn’t stop the moan that left him. Hearing Yusuke’s voice made him feel like he was right beside him. He could practically feel the other’s breath tickling his ear. He could feel him licking his down his neck and chest, teasing him as he liked to do. It wasn’t hard for him to pretend Yusuke was right there with him, ready to kiss him and touch him and suck on him.

“God… Dammit. Fuck, I want you so badly.”

“Ryuji?”

Ryuji dropped the phone when he heard a voice that wasn’t Yusuke’s. This was the first time he’d ever been frightened while masterbating. Perhaps when his heart rate went down he could appreciate the mixed feelings, but for now he was frozen. He could just barely hear Yusuke calling his name from the dropped phone, but that wasn’t the voice he was focused on.

“Ryuji? Is that you?”

“Akira??”

“Yeah. Are you alright?”

With an aggravated groan, Ryuji stuffed his dick back in his pants, embarrassed that he’d lost his hard on from being so frightened. He then scooped up his phone and hung up on Yusuke without a word. Yusuke was smart; he’d figure out what happened. He was sure he looked like a mess, but Ryuji swung the stall open, ready to scream at Akira for bothering him, except he didn’t get a chance to.

“You were totally touching yourself in there.”

“Akira!”

“You’re so lucky it was me who came in here! Did you actually call her? At school? And she picked up?”

“Akira….” Ryuji spoke through gritted teeth.

“She sent you pictures, didn’t she? Can I see them?”

“Hell no!”

“But she did send you pictures?”

“Akira!”

Akira finally held his hands up in defense and backed away from the stall so his friend could leave it. Of course, the smirk and his laugher didn’t dwindle at all. “Okay, okay. I’ll lay off, but you should be thanking me. It seems like my plan worked out for you.”

Ryuji stepped around Akira to wash his hands. “I guess you’re right. I swear, man… I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. It’s weird.”

“You’ll have to tell me more about her when we have time. Sorry you can’t hang out with her tonight. I think everyone is planning on staying late in Mementos today to train. Hopefully you’ll be able to see her soon.”

“I will.” Akira didn’t know just how soon the two would see each other. “Anyway let me get back to class. Not that anyone is missing me.” He waved to his friend and left the bathroom. His emotions were swarming inside of him and he didn’t even bother to get them in control. There was disappointment that his session with Yusuke was cut short, yet he was happy that he even had a session and pictures on top of that. He was even happy that Akira knew just how well that plan of his worked. The strangest emotion for him was his missing Yusuke. He missed his body. He missed his voice. His missed just having him beside him. They were going to see each other tonight; there was no point in missing him, but Ryuji wanted to hear him again. He wanted to touch his body. He wanted to feel his lips on his skin.

Right before he could delve further into his fantasy, his phone vibrated in his pocket. The text he received made him snicker despite the awkward situation he just walked away from.

[Yusuke]: You got caught.

There was even a laughing emoji to show just how amused Yusuke was.

[Ryuji]: Laugh it up. I’m coming for you, man. You better be ready.

For the first time in forever, Ryuji felt something akin to confidence. It had been so long since he’d experienced it that he couldn’t say for certain that what he was feeling actually was confidence. All he knew was that he was stronger, happier, and ready to take on the world with his partner by his side. Yusuke’s message back to him solidified those feelings.

[Yusuke]: Bring it on, love. I’m waiting. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my friends are telling me to get on revealing my twitter so if you want you can follow me and chat with me @confidant_v ^_^ Thanks! I'm really proud of this story, which isn't always the case with my writing, so all I can say is that I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Look forward to chapter 4 and maybe by then I'll finally have a beta!


	4. Almost Perfect - Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the amazing and lovely responses!! I nearly cried at the wonderfully kind and so detailed comments that were left last chapter! I cannot thank you all enough so... thank you, thank you, thank you! I really hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last~ I was so overwhelmed and I just... Thank you all so, so much! 
> 
> I also want to thank my wonderful new friend for helping me edit this chapter! He edited it and helped me with my descriptors and narrative, so head over to this user: fireflies_never_die right here on AO3! I swear this chapter wouldn't be half of what it is without him! Like seriously! Thanks, Ali! 
> 
> So this update is actually a birthday present to you all because today happens to be /my/ birthday! As an extra bonus gift I’ve edited chapter 1. I added more detail and cleaned it up some. Just little things that mean a lot :) So in honor of both my birthday and ALL OF YOU let's all celebrate with our awesome boys <3 Enjoy the chapter and once again THANK YOU TO ALL MY WONDERFUL READERS!!! 
> 
> heads up: get ready for some humor, sexiness, and oh dear... is that angst I see???

It had been four days since Ryuji last saw Yusuke alone. One thing they didn’t take into account when they made this plan was how life loved to get in the way. The first day they missed each other was because Ryuji’s mother needed him to stay home and help her around the house. The next day Yusuke had a big art project that needed his full attention otherwise he would fail the assignment. After that, Ann refused to leave Ryuji alone until he worked out with her and Akira. In order to keep his sanity he agreed, though that meant cancelling on Yusuke. Thankfully, the artist was well aware of Ann’s persistent nature so he was understanding. Day four resulted in the two of them seeing one another, though it was inside the walls of Mementos.

The lack of contact was driving both of them crazy. They had been given a taste of each other only to have it taken away.

Not for long.

They refused to go a fifth day without seeing one another. They had barely started this little adventure and letting it die out so quickly wouldn’t work for them. All Ryuji had to do was shoot a quick text to Yusuke, asking him if could they meet tomorrow, Sunday. It was simple enough, but Ryuji didn’t want to just pop into Yusuke’s room and dive right into sex. He craved more, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what exactly that “more” was.

Akira would know.

It was late, and to top it off the team had just finished an intense session in Mementos, but it wasn’t like sleep ever came easy for Ryuji. He felt a little guilty when he dialed Akira’s number. He knew Akira would most likely be trying to sleep, but this knowledge was not nearly enough to make him stop. He lay in his own bed, staring at the ceiling with the phone to his ear, waiting for Akira to pick up. He knew that he would. Akira was reliable like that.

“Why are you doing this to me, Ryuji?”

Ryuji laughed at the exhausted and dramatic voice that picked up the phone. “Sorry, man. Being awake is a normal thing for me.”

“It’s a normal thing for me too, but not this late and especially not when I’m this tired.”

Another laugh came from Ryuji. “Sorry, I should phrase that better. Being awake all the time is normal for me. I don’t sleep much.”

“You don’t?”

“Not really. Don’t get me wrong. I definitely sleep, but I bet you’d be surprised at just how little. Still, it’s no big deal.”

Ryuji waited for his friend to say something, but the line was quiet. Had his leader fallen asleep on him?

“Hellooooooo?”

“I’m here. Sorry, I was just thinking.”

Without realizing he was doing it, Ryuji navigated the conversation away from his sleeping habits. Had he been more aware of his actions, he would have known that he didn’t want Akira to know how little he slept. He didn’t want his best friend to know this weakness of his or to be concerned for him. Ryuji was doing his best to become stronger and the last thing he wanted was for his perfect leader to know he suffered from insomnia. It was embarrassing and stupid, and he hoped Akira would forget this conversation.

“Well, stop thinking for a moment. I need your help.”

“Wouldn’t you want me to think if you need my help?”

“Shut up. So, you remember that um… Girl we talked about?”

“Of course. How are things going with her?”

“Not bad, but I haven’t seen her in a few days. I’m gonna text her and ask if we can hang out tomorrow, but you know I… I don’t know, man. It’s weird, but I want to just… Spend time with her I guess. I don’t want to just go to her place, do things, then leave.”

“And that’s been your motif up until this point?”

“Yeah. It’s all physical with us, and it’s not like I’m trying to fall in love with her or anything. I guess I just want to… Talk.”

“That’s so normal it’s scary.”

“I’m not joking!”

“Neither am I!”

Ryuji rolled his eyes. As much as he adored his leader, the man was just as frustrating. “Do you have any suggestions? Like how can I ask her to spend time with me without sounding like an idiot?”

“Is it really that intimidating to just say ‘hey, wanna hang out tomorrow?’ without the implication of sex? It’s not like it’s an unusual thing to go to Shibuya or anything like that.”

“No, but it’s unusual for us. This person specifically wants sex from me. Not to go to the movies with me.”

“Are you sure?”

There it was. At some point, every conversation with Akira led to something clicking in Ryuji’s brain. The leader had a way of drawing out the most obvious things from a person and helping them come to equally obvious conclusions. Ryuji was stunned for a moment by the simplistic question. He stuttered out a few noises before finally answering.

“I…. I don’t know.”

Ryuji could hear Akira shifting in his bed and Morgana yelling at him to hang up the phone and go to sleep. “If you don’t know then why stress yourself out thinking that she absolutely doesn’t want to spend time with you outside of the bedroom? Just ask her. Tomorrow is Sunday, and I’ll bet she’d love to spend the whole day with you.”

“I… I mean… Maybe?”

“Ask her. In fact, here’s a formal invitation to bring her to LeBlanc tomorrow.”

“Wh-what…?”

Akira laughed loudly at Ryuji’s surprise. After a few moments of mockery and teasing, the leader finally calmed down. “Invite her to LeBlanc tomorrow. I already told Boss that I’d help him out around the cafe tomorrow, so I’ll be here. You can bring her in, give her some coffee and curry, and just talk. Maybe get to know her a little better. It might help your situation in the bedroom if you guys actually take some time to get to know one another.”

Once again, Akira made the obvious seem incredibly profound. Ryuji was again stunned silent, so Akira took the opportunity to say his good bye.

“Plus I’m dying to meet her. She must be pretty amazing to have you all nervous like this. I’ll be expecting you two tomorrow, alright? Maybe afterwards you guys can go to the movies or the park or something. You’ll figure something out. Anyway, I’m gone. Night, Ryuji.”

Ryuji snapped out of his coma far too late. There was a click and then nothing. It was too late for him to turn down Akira’s offer, and it would look suspicious if he did. The secret would be out before it was even a secret.

“Goddammit.”

Oh well. Ryuji would cross that bridge tomorrow, but for now he had another problem to worry about. Would Yusuke even want to hang out with him? The deal was that they were sex buddies, nothing more. Leave it to Ryuji to mess all of that up. He sighed heavily as he looked up Yusuke’s name in his phone. He already felt the rejection before he even asked. It was better not to get his hopes up anyway. He’d rather go ahead and get the feeling of defeat out of the way before it actually happened.

[Ryuji]: Hey. You awake?

A “…” appeared under his text, then instantly disappeared. For a split second, Ryuji knew that Yusuke didn’t want to speak to him. Nevermind that it was late, Yusuke probably sensed that he was going to ask something stupid. Ryuji would have continued down his road of rejection had his phone not started vibrating. Yusuke’s name appeared on the bright screen, and it took Ryuji a few seconds to answer.

“Hello?”

“The real question is, why are you awake, Ryuji?”

There was something about hearing that voice that made Ryuji instantly calm. “I can’t sleep.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m thinking about you.”

“Oh. I suppose the two of us are in a similar situation then.”

“You’re thinking about me? You must be touching yourself then.”

Yusuke’s laugh was just as sweet and gentle as his voice. “You caught me red-handed. Or rather, you caught me post-climax.”

It was Ryuji’s turn to laugh. So far sex hadn’t been the easiest thing for them to talk about, let alone laugh about. Perhaps it was the exhaustion from Mementos or perhaps it was the delirium that came with the late night hours, but the two were joking about sex as easily as if they were joking about a TV show. If they weren’t so tired they could appreciate it more.

“Pic, maybe?”

“I like your confidence, Ryuji. Just a moment.”

It didn’t take long for Ryuji’s phone to vibrate, indicating he got a text message. He opened it and smiled at the picture looking back at him. This time it was indeed a selfie, one of Yusuke laying in bed. He held the phone as high as he could above him and took a picture from his upper body to his thighs. The blanket was covering the one part Ryuji really wanted to see, but he could wait. Besides, Yusuke’s delighted, beautiful face was just as good of a reward. His cheeks were flushed pink and his hair was tussled, but the real story rested in his eyes. They were bright and clear, exhausted, but happy. They shined in the photo and his soft smile shined even brighter. Ryuji couldn’t help but wish he was there. By now he knew better than to deny how much he wanted to see Yusuke like that – so close to him, so happy with his presence. And if he was around Yusuke right now, he probably wouldn’t resist touching his hair, softly tracing his fingers along those dark blue locks, and staring at him, of course, how could someone not stare at Yusuke? He was a masterpiece regardless of the situation, and right now was no exception to the rule. It was almost unfair how gorgeous Yusuke was, Ryuji thought, relaxed and smiling so tenderly for the camera – and all this inhumanly divine bliss was directed at Ryuji, much to his own surprise.

“I’m sorry for the static angle, Ryuji. It was all I could manage in my current state. Oh, and ignore the poor composition and lighting. I probably could have cropped out a bit of the—“

“It’s beautiful, Yusuke,” Ryuji said, interrupting the other’s tirade. “You’re beautiful.”

There were a few stutters on the other end, then a soft sigh, a light chuckle, and finally, “Thank you. You’re not so bad looking yourself.”

Ryuji wasn’t used to the feeling of butterflies in his stomach. He never before felt his heart swell with overwhelming warmth and affection. This must have been what it felt like to have a crush. Not that he considered Yusuke his crush, but it didn’t stop him from smiling widely and curling deep into his blankets, as if they could contain that warm, fluffy feeling inside of him. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, darling. Now, I hate to turn you away, but I don’t think I’ll be able to keep myself awake much longer.”

“Oh wait! Before you go! I had a reason for calling you.”

“For the record, you can call me even if you don’t have a reason.” It was a shame that Yusuke missed the blush that crept onto Ryuji’s face or the excitement that rose in his chest. For Ryuji, such a simple statement was a huge progression in their relationship, but Yusuke was too tired to notice. “But what is it? Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine. I was just wondering if you were free tomorrow… Would you like to, you know. Hang out with me? Maybe we can get some coffee at LeBlanc and go to the park or…” Ryuji drifted off, knowing that the rejection was about to come.

“I’d love to.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yes, really. Why don’t we meet at LeBlanc at eleven? Does that sound good?”

“Yes! Yes, yes, I mean… That sounds awesome!”

Yusuke giggled and curled deep into his blankets, much the same way Ryuji had done. “Excellent. I’ll see you then, Ryuji. Good night. And sleep well.”

“You sleep well, too. Night.” How could Ryuji even think about sleeping when he was as excited as a kid going to an amusement park? He kicked his legs under his blanket and nearly cried out from the happiness that welled in him. He and Yusuke were going on a date. An actual date! There was no way he would possibly be able to sleep.

Except he had to. Yusuke had wished it. Yusuke wanted him to sleep, and not only that, but he wanted him to sleep well. If it was what his darling wanted, then the least Ryuji could do was try.

****

It was raining. If Ryuji had bothered to check the weather he would have been prepared for this. The park was out of the question now. The last thing he wanted was to get Yusuke soaking wet, forcing him to go home early. Still, this was just a minor setback. There were plenty of date options in Shibuya. They could go to the movies, hit up the arcade, or grab food from the multitude of restaurants. A little rain wouldn’t stop Ryuji. Nothing would stop him from having an amazing day with Yusuke.

He managed to leave his house around ten. It took him longer than usual to get ready. As much as he wanted to get dressed up for this date, he quickly found out that he didn’t have any nice clothes. All he had were graphic tees, jeans, and random jackets here and there. Fashion was never his thing, and now he was regretting it. Where was Ann when he needed her? Ultimately he wound up leaving the house in one of his nicer graphic tees (a white shirt with a dark outline of a tiger on it), the cleanest and most form fitting jeans he could find (which were still a bit too baggy for his liking), and a black, hooded jacket (used for both indoors and outdoors). Yusuke would no doubt show him up, but that was no surprise. It wasn’t difficult for a masterpiece like him to show up anybody.

The rain hadn’t lightened up any when he arrived at LeBlanc. It even seemed to fall harder as he ran inside the safety of the little cafe. With a shiver and an annoyed “Jeez, it’s pouring outside!” he closed his umbrella and made his way towards the bar, where Boss was showing Akira how to make a new coffee.

“There’s nothing more romantic than going on a date in the rain.” Akira handed Boss the cup he had just made before making his way to Ryuji and leaning on the bar, holding his head up with his hand. “You should take her outside somewhere. It’s heavy now, but the rain will lighten up throughout the day. Sitting together in the park under an umbrella is just the thing to do when the weather is like this.”

“Yeah, it’s also super cheesy.” Ryuji rolled his eyes at the image Akira cooked up, but at the same time, he couldn’t deny how nice it would be to have Yusuke that close to him. He would hold him around his waist, pulling him closer under the umbrella. They would walk around, listen to the rain pitter-patter on the ground before finding a nice place to sit and enjoy the scenery. Maybe even share a kiss in the rain like in the movies. It wouldn’t be a dramatic one. Just a soft, gentle, sweet kiss. Romantic. Delightful. Full of love and affection.

“You fall into your daydreams really easily.” It wasn’t the first time Akira pulled Ryuji from his thoughts and it wouldn’t be the last. He supposed he should be grateful for Akira keeping him in reality. It was fifteen minutes to eleven and Ryuji’s nerves nearly had him at his breaking point.

“What if we spend the whole day together and they decide they don’t like me? That they only like my body?”

“Do you want her to like you more, Ryuji?” Akira asked while looking over new samples of coffee bean. “I thought you just wanted to hang out and get to know her a little more. Do you want her to maybe… I dunno. Fall in love with you?”

Ryuji shook his head. “Not something as serious as that. I just… I’m nervous. I’m not interesting or awesome and we really don’t have much in common as it is. I just don’t want to fuck this up, you know? This is the first person who’s ever paid this much attention to me so I just… I really want to impress.”

“It’s okay to be nervous.” Boss, who’d been listening to the conversation, came to stand next to Akira and chimed in. “The fact that you’re nervous means that you really like this girl. It’s okay to admit you have a crush on her. It might even help your nerves to just accept it.”

“We haven’t been seeing each other that long, though. I mean we’ve been friends for a bit… A few months. But it was only recently that we really started to connect.”

“Follow your instincts, kid.” Boss got to work making Ryuji some of his special curry. “If you’ve got feelings for this girl, regardless of the amount of time of that’s passed, that means something. Perhaps it means she sees something in you that others don’t. Maybe it means that you’ve noticed she takes care of you or just genuinely likes you for who you are. Don’t take those things with a grain of salt. If your heart is trying to tell you something, then you oughta stop being stubborn and listen.”

Boss had a point. Then again, between him and Akira, Ryuji was surrounded by nothing but reason. They both made sense, and as much as Ryuji wanted to fight it, he couldn’t. As much as he wanted to fight these warm, fluffy feelings that were building inside of him, he couldn’t. Boss hit the nail on the head. No one had ever cared about Ryuji as much as Yusuke. No one wanted him so deeply and fully. Yusuke was one of kind, and this masterpiece desired Ryuji like he desired air.

“I guess you’re right.”

Boss nodded, satisfied that he managed to get through to Ryuji, at least somewhat. Akira, however, was distracted by something else.

“Yusuke’s here?”

The door opened and all three of them looked up to see Yusuke stepping in from the rain. He was five minutes early, and the moment Ryuji saw him his heart started beating out of his chest. All at once emotions flooded him, and had he not already been sitting he might have fallen to his knees. Ryuji couldn’t pull his eyes away as Yusuke pushed his hair out of his face and sighed deeply, apparently having ran to get there.

“I checked the weather yesterday and knew it would rain, but I didn’t expect it to come down this hard.” He folded his umbrella and took a seat next to Ryuji, who was still getting his heart under control. God, Yusuke was the most beautiful person Ryuji had ever laid eyes on. He couldn’t tell if Yusuke had bothered to dress up or not. He was wearing a long coat, which covered his clothes, to protect himself from the rain, but even in that coat he looked stunning. It framed his body perfectly, and it made Ryuji crave to see just exactly what was going on underneath it.

“You’re staring at me, Ryuji. Is there something on my face?”

“Huh? Oh, uhh no! No.” Ryuji’s cheeks turned red as he faced forward, catching eyes with Akira who looked like he had a sudden revelation.

“What brings you by, Yusuke? Especially in this weather?” He asked, not allowing anyone a chance to stop him.

“Our dear friend, Ryuji, invited me out today. It was an unexpected, but welcome surprise. Admittedly, the invite came late in the night after we’d already been out so late, but I happened to still be awake. Lucky him.”

“Yeah. Lucky him.” Akira’s lips turned up in a crooked smile as his eyes traveled back to Ryuji. Oddly enough, Ryuji didn’t feel any shame or embarrassment now that Akira knew his secret. He felt relieved. Finally someone knew. Finally someone in their close-knit group knew what he was trying to conceal. He thought he wouldn’t want anyone to find _that_ out, but somehow knowing that Akira knew brought Ryuji peace. There was no more hiding or trying to dodge questions Akira asked. Despite being a Phantom Thief, Ryuji found himself more comfortable out in the light than he would initially suspect.

“You haven’t been honest with us, Ryuji.”

“What?”

Yusuke looked back and forth between Boss and Ryuji. Yusuke was observant, clever, and bright, but he wasn’t the most apt at reading others. He couldn’t tell that the look Boss had on his face was one of amusement and mischievousness, but his curiosity wouldn’t allow him to let that statement slide. “What did he lie about? I never took Ryuji as a liar. Should I watch my back around him, Boss?”

“Shut up! I’m not a liar!”

Boss laughed loudly. “No, no. It’s not for all that. I just thought he liked his curry one way. Turns out he likes it the complete opposite of what I thought.”

They all jumped at the loud laugh Akira let out. He bent over the bar, burying his head in his arms, trying to regain control, though not before extending his hand to Boss in a high five. Boss happily accepted and laughed right along with Akira, ignoring as Ryuji rolled his eyes and pulled Yusuke away from the bar to sit at a booth.

“Why did you lie to him about the kind of curry you like?”

“What? No, Yusuke, that’s not what… Just nevermind.” It wasn’t worth trying to explain himself.

“Well, what kind of curry do you like?”

Was he really not going to let this go? Ryuji resigned himself to Yusuke’s lack of understanding and decided to answer his question with all honesty. “I don’t know. I don’t think I have a favorite type to be honest. Everything Boss makes is good so if he puts a plate of curry in front of me I’m going to eat it.”

“Oh. I see. Do you have a favorite kind of food then?”

Ryuji nodded. “There’s this really great ramen place not too far from here. I mean you gotta take the train to get there, but it’s incredible. You haven’t lived until you’ve had their ramen. I’ll take you there one day!”

Yusuke smiled and leaned forward to rest his chin in his hand. “I look forward to it. You can’t take me there today? A bet a nice, hot bowl of ramen would feel so cozy and inviting in this kind of weather.”

The thought of the ramen was about as appetizing as Yusuke. “We can go there. I didn’t make a back up plan in case it rained. I was going to take you to the park, but that’s out of the question now.” Ryuji scratched the back of his head. It wasn’t like he was an expert in date planning, but even he knew he should have done a better job with this. His hope was to impress Yusuke, and in his mind he was already failing. For whatever reason, every time Yusuke was involved Ryuji couldn’t get up to par. He couldn’t please the man in bed, he couldn’t compare to his looks or skills or talents, and now he couldn’t even take him out on a proper date.

Under normal circumstances, Ryuji would apologize for dragging him out here and then leave, but Yusuke was anything but normal. He was odd and eccentric and weird enough to find Ryuji attractive. He was happy to come out and spend time with him. He wanted the two of them to get to know each other. There was no way Ryuji would ruin this just because he couldn’t boost his own confidence. He was learning how to be strong, and that strength needed to show itself outside of the battlefield too. He wouldn’t run away from this person who desired him. He wouldn’t run away from his own desires.

“We can go anywhere you want. We can stay here and eat curry and drink coffee. We can go to Shibuya and see a movie and get dinner. We can go to the ramen place. Anything you want.”

“Anything?” Yusuke chuckled and reached out to hold Ryuji’s hand which was resting on the table. He stared right into the other’s eyes as a dark smile played on his lips and a finger gently glided under Ryuji’s sleeve. “Oh, don’t tell me that, Ryuji. You know what it is that I want.”

A blush crossed Ryuji’s cheeks, but that was the least of his worries. Just this small touch from Yusuke sent electric sparks coursing through his body. His body warmed to the core, and he swallowed hard as he looked at the hand grasped in his own. All it took was this fleeting ghost of a touch from Yusuke and Ryuji lost control. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t held hands before. The last time Ryuji visited Yusuke in his bedroom they had kissed all over each other’s hands. It was a nice feeling back then, but now… Now Ryuji had to resist the urge to lean over and kiss Yusuke right on those perfectly shaped lips of his.

Maybe he felt like this because Yusuke was holding his hand in public. He had the bravery to do this in front of Boss and Akira, not knowing that they already knew their secret. Or maybe he didn’t care. Maybe he didn’t care that the world knew their secret. Maybe he wanted everyone to find out. Maybe he wanted to share what it was that he found so enthralling about Ryuji.

“I still don’t understand what it is you see in me,” Ryuji said. He cast his eyes aside, unable to keep looking at the spectacular being in front of him, but tightened his grip on the other’s hand instead. The last thing he wanted to do was let his Yusuke go.

“Do you know what it is they tell us at my school?” To Ryuji’s surprise, Yusuke tightened his grip as well. “They say that we’ll never be able to see our own perfection. No matter how many times we look at our art, we’ll always find something wrong with it, and we’ll always focus on those little things rather than what makes it beautiful. I myself have never produced a painting I consider perfect. It’s when you understand that, Ryuji, that you’ll learn to love what you are and what you have. People will point out little things to me about my art that they love, but that I never even noticed. Other people will hate my favorite parts about a painting of mine. Some just take it at face value and don’t bother to read between the lines, but they still like it.” Yusuke leaned closer to Ryuji, and held his hand in both of his now. “An artist will never think their art is perfect. A writer will never think their writing is perfect. And you, as a person, cannot see what’s so perfect about you.”

“But you can?”

Yusuke smiled and looked down at Ryuji’s hand, running a finger down each of Ryuji’s fingers. “I love your long nails. I thought you’d be the type to bite them, but they’re beautiful. I loved the way they ran up my skin the last time we were together.”

“What? My nails? I don’t even think about them. I just—“

“Your eyes, too. They’re big, Ryuji, and I love that. They’re always searching, always looking, always curious. There’s a ferocity to them. Sometimes when you look at me I feel like I’m staring down a tiger that will no doubt devour me. I imagine when you look at those poor shadows in Mementos they know for a fact they’ll die by your hand.”

“Yusuke, you don’t have to—“

“Your voice is nice too. I bet people tell you you’re loud, and that’s true, but loud people are listened to. Even if adults don’t want to listen to you or they ignore you, they still hear you, Ryuji. They don’t have a choice when you decide you want to be heard. I, for one, can listen to you talk all day.”

“No one can listen to me talk all day.”

“You have a wonderful sense of humor. I love listening to you and Ann bicker back and forth. Sometimes you’re able to come up with quick comebacks and other times you just accept your defeat.” Yusuke giggled, and it made the butterflies in Ryuji’s stomach go crazy. “You do funny things and say funny things. I’m always entertained when I’m around you.”

“I don’t really think I’m that funny, but if you say so.”

“I love your confidence…. And lack thereof. You had me fooled, you know. Before I asked you to sleep with me, I thought you were cocky, arrogant, and overconfident. You display that well in Mementos and in Palaces. Oh, how wrong I was though. Your confidence comes and goes, I think. Sometimes you find the boost you need, and other times you just allow yourself to fall victim to negative thoughts. I only think this because of what I’ve seen in the bedroom. You won’t allow yourself to accept that it’s you I want.”

Ryuji didn’t have anything to say to that. A heavy sigh escaped him and he shook his head, wishing that Yusuke hadn’t brought up his confidence issue. It was wrong of anyone to talk about someone’s confidence, especially when they know it’s low. Yusuke didn’t mean to offend, but Ryuji didn’t want to be confronted with this. Part of him even felt the need to lash out. Yusuke was the most socially awkward person Ryuji knew. What the hell did he know about a person’s personality or confidence or anything? He could barely hold a conversation without weirding people out. Sure, he was skilled in the bedroom and perhaps those skills helped him realize that Ryuji wasn’t exactly comfortable in sexual situations, but other than that Yusuke knew nothing. He was just a presumptuous prick who—

Ryuji bit his tongue to keep from saying those awful words. It was in his nature to lash out when he felt the need to defend himself, but he wouldn’t dare allow himself to say such things to Yusuke. He was already nervous about ruining the date, and name calling wasn’t going to help any. Besides, he knew that nothing terrible was meant by these words regardless of how he felt about them. Still, they hurt. Words had a way of doing that. He eventually clenched his jaw and let go of Yusuke’s hand, though Yusuke immediately grabbed it and held it tightly.

“I’m sorry.”

“What?”

“I offended you.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“I did so don’t lie to me. I suppose… Well, I doubt I’d want someone telling me what it is that I think and feel. I shouldn’t have said those things about your confidence. Only you know what it is that you feel. I can only guess, and I shouldn’t make assumptions. I’m sorry.”

 _Sorry I called you a presumptuous prick._  Ryuji kept the thought to himself, though the guilt he felt went away with his silent apology. “I mean, you’re not off the mark. After my leg was broken I kind of… Well…” Ryuji drifted off. This wasn’t a conversation he was ready to have. As much affection as he felt for Yusuke, he still felt like they didn’t have the close relationship of him and Ann or him and Akira. It was why he had invited him out in the first place. It was why they were here now. They needed to build their relationship more before Ryuji would be one hundred percent comfortable with him. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Then we won’t talk about it.” Yusuke couldn’t blame him. After the whole situation with Madarame, he had become the center of all rumors and gossip at his school. No matter who asked him, he refused to speak on what happened. He knew exactly how Ryuji felt. “We got a bit too deep considering we’re only just now talking about things outside of sex.”

Ryuji shrugged. “It’s not like I don’t want to have these conversations with you. I do. I want to know more about your past. I want to know about your… You know. Nymphomania.” He said the word in a low voice. Even if Boss and Akira knew the two were sleeping together, they didn’t need to know Yusuke’s own personal secret. “I want to know how you dealt with it before and how you stay in control. I want to know more about how you’ve been feeling since the whole Madarame thing too. I want to know if you deeply miss your mom or if you just feel surface level emotions about her. I want to know everything, Yusuke. I want—“

The voice that bellowed out of nowhere made the two of them scream and jump in their seats, holding onto their pounding hearts.

“NO DEEP CONVERSATIONS ON THE FIRST DATE!”

Boss leaned over the counter, staring at the two in the booth while Akira was once again busy laughing. Boss shook his head at the couple, then crossed his arms over his chest. “You two are getting way too deep and personal considering it’s just date number one. I swear, young people have no idea how it’s done. You two were doing fine just talking about food and stuff. Go back to that! Talk more about that ramen place, Ryuji.”

Ryuji stood from his seat and stormed to the bar, slamming his fist on it. “Why were you two listening in on our conversation anyway?!”

Akira finally got his laughter under control enough to answer his friend. “This place isn’t exactly big, Ryuji. It’s hard not to hear you.”

Before Ryuji had the chance to yell anymore, Yusuke appeared behind him and rested a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, Ryuji. I think I know somewhere that’s a bit more private than this.” The glint in Yusuke’s eye didn’t go unnoticed by Ryuji, but as they left the cafe he thought to himself what was the worst that could happen?

***

The pair had never seen the park so empty, nor had they ever seen it so dark and wet. They trudged through the harsh rain, working to keep their umbrellas from flying away in the powerful wind. Not that they were doing anything to keep them dry. By now the two were completely soaked and Ryuji was wondering why they even bothered to keep their umbrellas around. He was half tempted to throw his off to the side and forget about it when Yusuke grabbed his arm and dragged him along. He didn’t know where he was taking him, and he didn’t care. It wasn’t like there was any protection from this storm anywhere.

Except there was. One minute the two were running through the rain with no particular destination, and the next there wasn’t a single raindrop falling on them. Ryuji hadn’t realized it when he was getting pulled, but Yusuke seemed to have noticed an arching bridge with a small stream under it and two large walkways on either side. Once they made their way under the bridge, Yusuke let go of Ryuji’s hand and dropped his umbrella to the ground.

“Well, that was fun!”

Ryuji couldn’t help his scoff. “Real fun. Remember, it was your idea to come to the park. We could be eating ramen right now. We could also be dry.”

“This is more fun.” Yusuke looked around before sitting on the hard concrete with his back against the stone bridge. “This is the first time I’ve sat under this bridge. It’s nice.”

“I bet it would be nicer if it was sunny outside.” Ryuji took a seat next to Yusuke, wondering why he let his companion talk him into this. Had it been anyone else he would have given them a hard no, but these days he was finding it hard to deny Yusuke. It didn’t take much for the artist to convince Ryuji to run around with him in the rain soaked park.

“Rain is inspiring, Ryuji.” Yusuke went through his bag and pulled out his sketchbook and a pencil, and opened to a blank page. “You wouldn’t believe the amount of work I’ve done listening to the rain. It’s calming. Now, sit still.”

“What? Are you drawing me?”

“Just sit still and face forward.”

There was little fight from Ryuji. He did as he was told, and Yusuke set to work. The little scratching of the pencil against the paper could barely be heard over the raging storm. The two sat in silence, one focused on his work and the other curious about said work. He should have been flattered, but the only thing Ryuji could feel was dread. There was no way a drawing of him would come out well. Yusuke may have found him attractive, but that probably wouldn’t translate correctly on paper. Still, it would be rather rude to object, and Ryuji doubted an artist of his caliber would stop drawing something just because they were told to.

He would just have to put up with it.

“So….” He hoped to distract himself enough with conversation and maybe forget about the ball of dread that was forming in the pit of his stomach. “You’ve always been good at art?”

“I suppose you can say that. Madarame said he saw a natural talent in me, though he took a risk with that. Turned out I did have a talent for it so he lucked out.”

“I mean, I can’t imagine he would have thrown you out on the streets had you not shown artistic talents.”

“I’m not so sure.”

It only took two seconds of conversation for the mood to become as cloudy as the weather. Ryuji silently cursed himself for saying such a stupid thing. It seemed that all of their conversations were leaning towards in-depth, serious ones. Boss’s advice was running through Ryuji’s head, but now he worried that no matter what he said he’d fuck it up. Somehow the two always come back to talking about serious matters that should wait.

“We don’t need to talk about Madarame though. I’d rather not if I’m being perfectly honest.” Yusuke managed to save the direction the conversation was going in. “I guess we’d both rather hold our tongues when it comes to how adults betrayed us.”

Ryuji shrugged. “It’s hard talking about these things, you know. I mean, I’m sure we’ll talk about them at some point, but until then we should listen to Boss. We’ll stop talking about deep stuff. Keep things nice and shallow.”

Yusuke laughed and nodded his head in agreement. “That’s right. Nice and shallow. So what kind of shallow things do people usually talk about?”

“I don’t know. Video games?”

Ryuji didn’t notice how Yusuke wrinkled his nose at the new turn in conversation. Ryuji’s love of video games was no secret, but how little Yusuke cared about them was. It wasn’t that he hated video games; he felt nothing towards them. However, since his precious Ryuji cared about them so much, Yusuke decided he could at least indulge him in a small conversation about his little, although peculiar for his own liking, hobby. It took him a few moments to gather his thoughts and not blurt out the first insulting things that came to his mind. Eventually he figured out what he could say that was truthful without bashing Ryuji’s favorite pastime. “I don’t really play games too much. I do notice art in certain games when my friends bring it to my attention, but that’s about it.”

“Damn. All I do is play video games. I can’t really say I notice the art in them though.”

Yusuke scoffed, as if Ryuji just said the stupidest thing in the world. “Well, sure you do.”

“Huh?”

The light chuckle that escaped Yusuke’s lips was masked by a crash of thunder. He looked away from his drawing to face Ryuji, chewing on the end of his pencil now that it wasn’t being put to use. “Do you buy games that look ugly?”

“I mean…” Ryuji shrugged, unsure of where his friend was going with this. “The graphics got to look good, but I don’t—“

“So you pay attention to the art,” Yusuke interrupted, pointing his pencil at Ryuji. Any time the topic turned to art, a fire blazed inside of Yusuke. His passion for his favorite thing was hard to quell, and it was fueled even more so that he was talking to Ryuji about it. Ryuji may not have known much about fine art, but Yusuke knew he could pull a conversation about video game art from him.

Ryuji, on the other hand, was not so sure of that. “I pay attention to the graphics,” he said firmly, leaving no room for argument….

Except Yusuke wouldn’t accept that kind of a response.

“You still pay attention to the aesthetics of a game,” Yusuke said, turning back to his drawing, unwilling to leave it unfinished. “So you’re paying attention to the art.”

“It’s literally not the same thing.”

“What’s the last game you played?”

It had never happened before, but Ryuji didn’t want to be reminded of the game he had just completed. At least he had Ann who shared in the horror of that game with him, but it was a memory he didn’t like to think about. “I played Doki Doki Literature Club with Ann. She got it in English and translated it for me as we played. We both thought it was gonna be cute, but uhh… Yeah. That was a mistake.”

“What did the art look like?”

“It was a visual novel so it was just, you know… Anime.”

That wasn’t surprising. “Did anything stick out to you?”

“The blood,” Ryuji mumbled, wishing they would get off of this game.

“Was it visually appealing?”

“Hell no! I’m not into that kind of stuff! Ugh, it was gross and disturbing.”

“Then the art did it’s job. You paid enough attention to it that the visuals made you feel emotion.”

“That was just the game. It was supposed to make you feel sick to your stomach. I mean yeah, the art mattered, but—“

“Tell me what three games you played before that.”

It wasn’t hard to see where Yusuke was going with this, but Ryuji indulged him anyway. After all, they had somehow managed to combine their favorite things: video games and art. The two weren’t as far apart as either of them thought.

 _Just like us_ , Ryuji said to himself before answering Yusuke’s question. “Fire Emblem, Catherine, and… Listen, don’t tell anyone this, but Stardew Valley.”

“Your secret is safe, mostly because I’ve never heard of Stardew Valley. But I am familiar with Catherine and Fire Emblem; both have stunning visuals, though on the anime side. From what you told me of this Doki Doki whatever game it has anime visuals too. Thus, I can say that you have an attraction to anime art style. Go through your collection and look at the artwork of your games and tell me if I’m right.”

“Fine, fine.” Yusuke was too exhausting to argue with. Ryuji gave up the battle without even trying to fight back. The task of looking through the art in his game collection didn’t sound miserable, but he had a hard time believing Yusuke could easily tell his own personal aesthetic based on just four games he’d played. Then again, Yusuke was expert in his trade.

“Are you a psychic?” Ryuji teased. “Can you tell what type of person I am based on the games I play?”

“I can tell your game collection is probably full of anime aesthetics, which is immature at best, thus your games must be immature, which means I’m trying to sleep with an immature man.”

“Harsh, dude.”

Yusuke shrugged, though a cunning smirk tugged at his lips. It seemed there was never a moment that wasn’t perfect for teasing Ryuji, although Ryuji wouldn’t let this battle go as easily as he had the others.

“For the record, none of the games I mentioned are immature. Catherine is about a man cheating on his girlfriend with a woman who has her same name and depending on the decisions you make in the game determines who he winds up with. On top of that, it’s a hard as hell puzzle game so it toys with more than just your emotions.”

Yusuke cast his eyes over to his companion before quickly returning them to his sketchbook. “I’ll admit that sounds mildly interesting.”

“And Fire Emblem is a strategy game so you literally have to pick and place your troops properly or you could fuck up the whole battle. The storylines and characters are amazing too. You really feel like you’re a part of this kingdom and fighting to defend it. The personal relationships you make in the game are cool too. You can have children and everything!”

Again, Yusuke cast his eyes over to Ryuji and let them linger there a bit longer before focusing back on his drawing. “That actually sounds interesting as well. I’m curious to see what the costumes look like.”

“They’re awesome, okay? Look, you can’t bash games until you’ve played some yourself. Come by my place some time and I’ll pull some I think you might like. I can think of a few off the top of my head.”

“So thoughtful of you, Ryuji. Considering my personal tastes and all.”

“Well, that’s me! Mr. Considerate!”

Ryuji couldn’t place the sound that came from Yusuke, but he imagined it was something between amused and slightly annoyed. “Well, you’ve indulged me by letting me draw you so I’ll indulge you and play your games. Sound fair? Speaking of which, I’m done. Are you ready to see it, Ryuji?”

“I’ve been ready.”

Before Ryuji could take a look at the drawing, Yusuke threw a leg over the other’s waist to straddle him. The action was surprising, but not unpleasant. As if by habit, Ryuji rested his hands on Yusuke’s hips, his thumbs running up and down the covered skin. Even though they were both soaking wet they both were instantly warmed by the sudden closeness. Ryuji wouldn’t say anything, but he couldn’t control the flutters in his stomach or the pounding of his heart. He wondered if Yusuke felt these things too. Did he feel like his heart was going to explode when they were touching each other or was his feelings simpler than that?

“I hope you like it, darling,” Yusuke said, lightly nuzzling Ryuiji’s temple before holding the sketchbook up to his chest. “It’s just a quick sketch, a doodle really, so it’s not the best, but I did what I could.”

“Dude, this is not a doodle. No way.” Ryuji ogled the drawing as if it were Yusuke in panties. How the hell was he able to draw something so detailed and so accurate in such a short amount of time? Plus they were talking the entire time so he should have been at least somewhat distracted. He captured everything, though. From the happiness in Ryuji’s eyes, to his soft smile, to the wrinkles in his clothes, to the little cracks in the stone, everything in the drawing was perfect. It was flawless just like the man who drew it.

“Do you like it?”

“It’s beautiful,” Ryuji breathed out, still staring wide-eyed at the drawing.

“A bit arrogant, aren’t you?”

“Ah, no no. That’s not what I—“

“I know what you meant, darling.” Yusuke set the sketchbook back on the ground and wrapped his arms around Ryuji’s neck. “I’m glad you like it. You’re a wonderful muse, you know. When I’m at school, I think about you and suddenly I feel like I can draw anything.”

“I’m sure it’s not like that.”

“It is. I’m telling you it is so what reason do you have to not believe me?” Yusuke planted soft kisses on Ryuji’s cheek as he spoke. It bothered him to have to constantly hear Ryuji talking himself down. Worse than that, it was starting to break his heart. It seemed that every time Yusuke gave Ryuji a compliment, he shot it down ruthlessly. “What do I have to do to get you to realize how wonderful you are?”

Ryuji didn’t know how to answer that question. It bothered him that Yusuke was even aware of his lack of confidence, and it bothered him even more to know that he wanted to fix it. This was a personal problem, one Ryuji wanted to deal with on his own. His confidence fell apart after his leg was broken, and it was only now starting to come back up. He had Akira and his persona to thank for that, and now he could say that Yusuke was certainly boosting his ego.

“Just keep doing what you’re doing,” Ryuji finally said, returning the kisses that Yusuke was giving him. That was the truth. If Yusuke would just stop bringing up his confidence problem and keep romancing him, then Ryuji was sure he’d get his confidence back in no time. It wasn’t like this was something that could be rushed with constant prying. “I’ll be fine. In the meantime why don’t you tell me what color panties you’re wearing today?”

In reality, whatever Yusuke was wearing under that jacket wasn’t what Ryuji wanted to talk about. Sure, he wanted to eventually get to that point later on in the night, but he had hoped it would happen well after the two spend the time to get to know each other. If only Yusuke would stop bringing up his damn confidence problem. It was annoying and always threw Ryuji for a loop. He had hoped to make it back to Yusuke’s dorm before getting into anything sexual, but he was willing to jump the gun in order to stop the other from going on about things Ryuji would rather not get into. He could tell from the smile that grew on Yusuke’s face that his little plan worked. That was the good thing about Yusuke’s nymphomania. It was as easy to get him to change topics as it was to get Ann to eat cake.

“How do you even know I’m wearing panties?” Yusuke looked down at Ryuji, that devilish grin crossing his lips as he lightly grinded his hips against Ryuji’s.

“Please. I doubt you’d come out on a date with me and not wear panties. Now go on. Tell me what color they are.”

“Hmmm….” Yusuke shook his head and leaned down to plant small, wet kisses against Ryuji’s neck. “You tell me.”

That was easy enough. Normally Ryuji wasn’t the type to feel comfortable with any sort of sexual activity in public, but he doubted anyone would come across them in this storm. So long as no couples as insane as them decided to take a walk through the storm, they were safe. A bit faster than he perhaps intended, Ryuji unbuttoned the long jacket and then worked to undo the other’s pants. His eyes stayed planted there as he slid the zipper down and cocked his head to the side at what he saw.

“B-boxers?”

Never had Yusuke laughed a more obnoxious laugh than this one. “I don’t wear panties every day, darling. I knew you’d expect me to be wearing panties today, so I switched it up. I have to keep you on your toes, after all.”

“Do you though?” Ryuji asked, raising an eyebrow at his friend. Even he had to smile at being tricked. Yusuke had told him when he first wore panties to remember that he was a man, not a woman. Panties weren’t an everyday thing for him so Ryuji shouldn’t expect that. Lingerie was a treat, nothing more, nothing less, and Ryuji had quickly become spoiled. This was a good reminder that Yusuke could wear whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted.

“I do. Oh, how do you like the color?”

“They’re… Green. I feel green about them.”

“Pastel green, Ryuji. Pastel.”

“Yeah, yeah….” Ryuji missed Yusuke’s tsk at his uncaring response. It wasn’t so much that he didn’t care. After all, he had wanted to suggest to Yusuke that black was too strong of a color for his skintone, but the reality was that Yusuke looked good in anything. Why would Ryuji care about the color when what was in front of him was already so attractive?

Still, Yusuke cared about it so he wanted to care as well, even if it was just a tinge.

“The green is cute.” He slid down Yusuke’s pants so he could get a better view, licking his lips at the slow reveal. “I don’t care much about color or anything, but I thought the black panties were a bit harsh considering your skin tone. I think these light colors work better for you.” It took some effort since Yusuke was straddling Ryuji, but the two managed to work together so the pants came all the way off and were set to the side. Had Ryuji been looking at anything other than Yusuke’s crotch he might have noticed the pleased smile that crossed Yusuke’s lips.

“So you do pay attention to color?”

“Sometimes.” Ryuji’s hands slid up and down the other’s waist and thighs. It seemed impossible for someone’s skin to be this soft, but here on his lap sat living proof that it existed, and it all belonged to Ryuji. Every day that passed with Yusuke help him realize how lucky and grateful he was to have such a magnificent man attracted to him. No one else would ever feel skin this soft. This was exclusively Ryuji’s treasure to enjoy. “This color is nice on you.”

“Thank you.” Yusuke sighed softly as Ryuji’s hands wandered over his thighs, his stomach, his waist, though not that one part Yusuke was hoping for. Perhaps he was being polite or perhaps it was shyness, but Ryuji was avoiding the hardening cock that was begging for attention under those boxers. One day Ryuji would learn that Yusuke wanted him to touch as much as he wanted and anywhere he wanted, but in the meantime he would need some help. Yusuke grabbed the other’s hands and placed them on his ass. A smile crossed his face as Ryuji’s hands grasped each cheek, though the look on the blonde’s face made it seem like he didn’t mean to do it. He stuttered a few times before Yusuke bent forward, pushing his ass even more into Ryuji’s hands.

“Do you remember what I said all those days ago? I’m sensitive to touch. It turns me on.”

Ryuji remembered, though a bit too late. Once he did, his entire body froze. This wasn’t the direction Ryuji wanted this date to go. Somehow, when it came to the two of them, all roads lead to sex. It may have been the sexual energy Yusuke seemed to constantly exude or maybe it was his own weakness for allowing it to happen, but Ryuji couldn’t seem to direct either of their attention away from these things. What was supposed to be a fun date was still very fun, but not what Ryuji had hoped for.

“You know I adore you, Ryuji, but your mixed messages are driving me insane.”

“Huh?”

His sudden hesitation didn’t go unnoticed by the sexual fiend in his lap. An aggravated sigh escaped Yusuke, and he sat up fully, crossing his arms over his chest, his sharp eyes narrowing down at the other. “You can’t take my pants off and touch me like you’ve been doing, then suddenly stop. I understand that you have your own conflict within yourself about this, and I’ve been very generous with your apprehension, so I need you to consider my feelings in return. It’s easy for me to simply not start, but it’s harder for me to stop once we get going. Please remember that in the future. I’ll do my best to accommodate you, to not force you into anything, to stop when you say no more, but you need to accommodate me too.”

“I’m… I’m so sorry, Yusuke.”

All of the guilt welling up inside Ryuji didn’t compare to the instant guilt Yusuke felt when he saw those wide, sad, apologetic puppy eyes. Ryuji let go of Yusuke’s ass, though kept his arms wrapped around his waist, as if he were afraid Yusuke would leave him right then and there.

“You’re right. I just… I don’t know. I don’t know, man. I just lose my cool once we get to that point and I’m trying to deal with it because I want you! Fuck, I want you so, so, so badly, but I can’t bring myself to just fucking go for it. It’s my own damn fault because I just…” _I just ruin things_. He didn’t want to say it aloud out of fear of sounding too much like a victim. Yusuke didn’t need to hear him feel sorry for himself. He needed him to step up and take ahold of what he wanted, without pause. “I’ll do better, Yusuke, I promise. I’m so sorry. I didn’t even consider what you would be feeling about all this. I just—“

“It’s okay!” Yusuke couldn’t bear to hear anymore. His heart couldn’t take another word. If Ryuji said one more thing about this Yusuke thought he would start crying. He hadn’t meant to hurt the other or stir up such strong emotions inside of him. All he wanted was to let Ryuji know that everything needed to be fair; every couple had that talk, right? It was nothing unusual, but Ryuji couldn’t handle the thought of disappointing Yusuke. Perhaps it was because he already thought of himself as a disappointment. Or maybe it was because he thought himself unworthy of Yusuke.

“I… I don’t make it easy on you, Ryuji. My sexual nature is… What’s a good word? Overwhelming. I imagine you have a rough time figuring out exactly what to do with me when I’m constantly throwing myself at you. I hardly give you room to breathe, let alone think about how all this works best for you. So for that, I apologize.”

“No, you don’t have anything to apologize for.”

“I do and I already did. Please accept it.”

It took a few seconds, but Ryuji eventually nodded his head. “I accept it. And I’m sorry too.”

“I accept your apology.” Yusuke smiled and pressed their foreheads together, though deep down his concern for Ryuji’s lack of confidence grew. It almost felt like they were back at square one; all of the progress Ryuji had made unraveled as soon as he thought he upset Yusuke. Not that Yusuke minded working on it all over again, but it just showed how damaged Ryuji was. His poor, innocent Ryuji.

“We’re in this together, darling. Don’t be afraid to talk to me, okay? And I’ll talk to you as well.”

“Okay.”

“Now, will you kiss me?”

“Huh?”

Yusuke snickered. “We haven’t shared a real kiss yet. Don’t you think it’s time?”

“Uhh… Maybe?”

“You can say no. We just talked about this. I know I’m overwhelming sometimes so—“

“I’m not overwhelmed! I just… I mean…”

Ryuji was hesitating again, but Yusuke was okay with that. A kiss was something easy to work with. It was low-stakes, easy to avoid, easy to stop, easy to start. There was nothing difficult about this, and it worked out for the both of them. There was little risk involved, unlike with sex, and Yusuke could pull away much faster if need be. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t try to convince Ryuji though.

Begging was always a good strategy.

“Please, Ryuji. Please?” He placed a soft kiss against Ryuji’s lips, his voice gentle and whispy. “Please, kiss me. I want you to kiss me, Ryuji. Please?”

The blush that crossed Ryuji’s face was noticeable even in the dark tunnel, and was that a twitch Yusuke felt against his thigh? Yusuke mentally noted that begging seemed to be one of Ryuji’s fetishes regardless if he knew it or not. Begging was no difficult task for Yusuke either. He had waited a long time for a man like Ryuji to come along. If a little begging went a long way, then he’d be happy to do it.

“I-I-I… Um… I mean… Y-you don’t want our first kiss to be in bed, cuddling and stuff like that?”

Yusuke smiled. He wasn’t sure if Ryuji was just trying to get him to beg more or if he was honestly concerned about where and how their first kiss happened. He doubted it was the former, but if it was then Yusuke was proud. Still, Yusuke knew—or rather was learning—to not throw himself onto Ryuji like this. Obviously, Ryuji liked the begging, but he was still telling him to wait. Waiting was fine. It wasn’t preferred, but Yusuke would wait for Ryuji. He’d wait as long as it took.

“Our first kiss will be magical, Ryuji,” Yusuke said, finally relenting. He placed another chaste kiss on the other’s lips. “I bet you’re an amazing kisser.”

“I doubt that.”

“Shut up. Let me dream.”

The two shared a laugh, lightening the atmosphere around them. The rain still pounded around them, but in their secret tunnel they were growing closer and closer to one another. Had they been given more time by themselves, Yusuke might have gotten the kiss he so desperately wanted. They may have left hand-in-hand, under a shared umbrella back to Yusuke’s dorm where anything could have happened. But they weren’t given this time. Two loud ringtones interrupted their enjoyment, startling them much like Boss had done just hours earlier.

“It must be from the group if both of our phones went off at once,” Yusuke said, leaning over to dig into the pockets of his pants.

“Yeah….” If it was Ann, Ryuji would curse her for interrupting his date, however, it wasn’t Ann. It was Makoto, asking if the group wanted to meet up for dinner in Shibuya. The two men looked at each other, each thinking the same thing. Meeting up with the group meant less time alone, but it would look odd for both of them not to accept. Akira knew their little secret, but they weren’t ready for the girls to learn it too. They feared the barrage of questions and advice would be endless.

“I guess we should go,” Yusuke said, not masking his disappointment.

“I guess.”

Yusuke slowly rolled off of Ryuji, instantly shivering from the lack of warmth against his cold, wet body, and worked on putting on his still soaked pants. Ryuji missed this blissful feeling too, but he didn’t dare mention it. Instead he smiled, took Yusuke’s hand in his, and kissed it softly. “Don’t worry. Once we’re done with them we’ll go back to your place. We need to get out of these wet clothes anyway.”

Yusuke couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped him as he packed up his sketchbook and stood straight. “Are you propositioning me, Mr. Sakamoto?”

Ryuji laughed along with his friend, though he turned a bit pink once he realized what he said. “If you’ve already propositioned me, then is it possible for me to proposition you?”

“Maybe.”

The two smiled at one another and started out into the rainy abyss before them. Hand-in-hand and armed with umbrellas they ran out into the cold, wet world, happy that they were running with each other.

***  
Yusuke’s umbrella had been lost to the ferocious winds and Ryuji tossed his away to try and make his companion feel better. Of course, the stupidity of his attempt at comfort dawned on him the moment he made his decision, but all was already lost. He had apologized over and over again on the train for not thinking, but Yusuke was having fun playing up his mock anger. He stayed silent the entire ride, listening to Ryuji go on and on about how dumb it was to toss away their only protection from the storm and how he should have done a better job of keeping Yusuke safe. The more he listened, however, the more he realized that Ryuji was being just as playful and mocking as he was. Hearing Ryuji say “Won’t you ever forgive me, Prince Yusuke” was the deciding factor in noticing that Ryuji was no longer really apologizing and was having fun teasing him, just as Yusuke was doing to him.

Yusuke didn’t understand why this made him feel at ease. Instances of Ryuji being playful with Yusuke weren’t rare, but perhaps they weren’t as common as Yusuke thought. On top of that, this was a whole new experience of playful, teasing Ryuji – there was a different backstory behind these little taunts he threw at Yusuke every now and then. A different intention to back them up, perhaps? Either way, the feeling was welcomed and Yusuke hoped it would stick around.

By the time the two made it to the Shibuya and were walking down central street, the rain had lightened up to just a soft drizzle. Nevertheless, the two were soaking wet and by now began questioning whether they wanted to meet with their friends or not all over again.

“We’re not gonna stick around the entire time,” Ryuji grumbled, trying to wring out his jacket.

“No, not at all.”

“Fifteen minutes. Max!”

“Agreed.”

“Just so we can say we showed up.”

“Exactly.”

“Then maybe we can go back to your place and take a shower.”

“Oh!” Yusuke nudged his companion, unable to stop the grin forming on his face. “Are you propositioning me again, Mr. Sakamoto?”

Ryuji laughed loudly, causing a few people to stare at the soaking wet couple. “I seem to be propositioning you a lot tonight, Prince Yusuke, and I haven’t even realized it.”

“You know I don’t accept that nickname you’ve suddenly come up with.”

“Too bad! It’s already stuck.”

“No, it hasn’t.”

“Yes, it has!”

“Nope.”

“Yes.”

“Nope.”

“Get used to it.”

“Absolutely not.”

The quarreling continued, neither of them backing down. They were feeling comfortable with each other, growing to understand one another. The date was serving its purpose in bringing the two together. Ryuji never thought he would ever want to grow closer to Yusuke, and even when this game started he assumed that he would be fine sleeping with him even with their relationship as estranged as it was. That wasn’t the case; it never was. He may not have realized it, but Ryuji wanted something deeper with Yusuke if they were going to continue this. Yusuke had shown him kindness, compassion, and desired him in ways no one else had. Ryuji wanted to explore that. He wanted to know who Yusuke was before he truly got in the bed with him.

And for as sex-crazed as Yusuke was, this was the first time he cared to really get to know one of his partners. Ryuji was different. He was cute, sweet, playful…. Innocent.

So, so innocent.

He didn’t just want Yusuke for his body, and Yusuke recognized this. Ryuji wanted all of Yusuke even if he didn’t come out and say it. To be wanted on a level deeper than just his physical appearance… Yusuke hadn’t known he wanted that all these years.

“Look, your terrible nicknames aside, why don’t I alter your proposition?” Yusuke stopped walking and faced Ryuji, who stopped in his tracks beside the other. “I don’t know if you’ve had sex in a shower, but it’s difficult.”

“Keep your voice down!”

“So I’m not even allowing that to be an option,” Yusuke continued, ignoring his friend. “The showers are usually too small, the lube washes away so you can’t even properly—“

“Alright! Alright! I get it! No showers! Got it!” Ryuji pressed a hand to Yusuke’s mouth to keep him quiet, while looking around him to see if anyone else had heard. It didn’t occur to him that he was attracting more attention than Yusuke, but he refused to let the other go until his hand was pushed away.

“Don’t be annoying. Now listen, I’m not ruling out the tub altogether. When we get to my dorm why don’t we take a bath together? And instead of having sex, we’ll talk. Just like how we did under the bridge. We’ll just… you know. Talk. Get to know each other a little more.”

Ryuji stared at Yusuke as if he had said the most insane thing he’d ever heard. Slowly, his expression changed from one of surprise to one of happiness.

“R-really? For real, Yusuke? We can just… Talk? Like… Talk talk?”

“Yes, Ryuji. We’ll just talk. I enjoyed getting to know you today, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to learn more about you. We’ll wash off all this icky rain in the bath and… Talk.”

Ryuji did a little cheer in his head. “That sounds awesome! Let’s hurry up and get to the diner so we can--“ Ryuji was interrupted by a noise coming down the alley behind him. At first he thought it was his imagination. Shibuya was full of strange sounds, people teasing and yelling, kids screaming… It wouldn’t surprise him if the sound was just that. A sound.

Then he heard it again, and this time Yusuke seemed to notice it as well. Most people wouldn’t call out for help several times in a row if they didn’t need it. The pair met eyes and nodded to each other, not hesitating to run down the mostly deserted alley where a woman was getting harassed by two men. The situation briefly brought Ryuji back to how Akira got into his own little predicament, but then he refocused.

“Get the fuck off of her, you creeps!”

All three people looked up to see Yusuke and Ryuji in front of them. The men didn’t seem intimidated as they smirked to one another and tossed the woman behind them like she was a rag doll. Their steps were slow as they approached Ryuji and Yusuke, like they were taking their time sizing them up.

“I suggest you kids stay out of this.”

“We can’t do that,” Yusuke said calmly, though his heart was beating as fast as it did when he fought in Mementos. “Why don’t you go instead and leave that woman in our care?”

“Don’t be a hero, kid.”

“Someone’s gotta be!” Ryuji launched at the man, easily landing a punch to his cheek. Yusuke was just as quick, running right behind Ryuji and kicking the other opponent in the shin. The man went down which earned him another kick right to the face. He was up faster than Yusuke anticipated, but it was nothing he was concerned about. Compared to Mementos and the palaces, fighting these two men were like fighting children.

That arrogance put the two in more danger than they realized. The real word and the cognitive world were different from each other. Fights were different. Environments were different. Situational factors were different. They didn’t take any of this into consideration. Had they worked together, like they did in Mementos, instead of fighting separately perhaps things would have turned out better. Perhaps they could have honestly said they won this battle, if only they’d thought a bit harder.

Ryuji knocked his guy to the ground, stepping on him to keep him there. The woman was out of his field of vision, but he had nearly forgotten about her in the heat of the moment. In the midst of the fighting, the woman stood and tried to run away, knocking into Yusuke. She managed to escape, but knocking Yusuke off balance was all the thug needed to steal the upper hand.

Seeing him start to fall, the thug grabbed Yusuke by his right arm and bent it behind his back. The cry of “no!” caught Ryuji’s attention, but it didn’t matter. Everything moved in slow motion from that point on. Ryuji running towards his friend. Yusuke looking up at Ryuji, his eyes wide and scared. The man bending Yusuke’s arm back farther. And finally, the devastating “snap!” of the bones in Yusuke’s arm breaking.

As quickly as the world shifted to slow motion, it shifted right back at the scream Yusuke let out. It was a horrific scream, starting out a hysterical shriek then slowly forming to a hopeless wail. His screaming was loud enough that the men ran off, knowing a crowd would form. All that was left was Ryuji staring at his broken friend, listening to his screams and cries of “no!” It was a sound Ryuji was far too familiar with. He knew that scream. He heard it in his nightmares every single night. This wasn’t a scream of pain because of a broken arm. Yusuke could handle that sort of pain. This was a pain of another kind, the kind Ryuji existed in every day of his life.

He finally came to his senses and staggered toward his friend, falling to his knees and gathering him in his arms. “Don’t worry, Yusuke. It’s gonna be okay. It’ll be okay. I promise, I promise, I’m not lying to you, okay? You’ll be fine.” He may have sounded more convincing had his voice not cracked through each and every word. Not that Yusuke was listening. He buried his head in Ryuji’s chest, muffling his still devastating screams. Ryuji held onto his precious Yusuke, careful to not move his arm. In his mind he scolded himself for telling Yusuke he would be fine. When his accident occurred he had hoped and prayed that he would recover, but deep down he knew he wouldn’t. It was why he screamed the way he did that day, and it was why Yusuke was inconsolable now.

Still, he believed. Broken arms were fixable, and Yusuke was a master artist. This process would be hard, but he could do it. He could do it and Ryuji would be right there beside him the entire time.

“We need to get you to a doctor.” But where the fuck was one? The hospital was an option, but that was a train ride and a half with a screaming artist on his arm.

“Ryuji….”

God, Ryuji hoped he never had to hear Yusuke call his name like that again. He never wanted to hear Yusuke sound like he was dying. He never wanted him to sound so hopeless and broken.

“My arm… I can’t move my arm….”

“I know, babe, I know.” The attempt at a cute pet name didn’t calm Yusuke down any. “And don’t try to move it, okay? Just leave it. I’ll get you to a doctor. I’ll… Fuck, I don’t know! I’ll do something!”

“Ryuji!”

Ryuji looked up as his name was called and had the situation not been so dire he might have smiled. Akira, followed by Makoto, Ann, and Morgana in Ann’s purse, were rushing down the alley.

“We heard screaming and—oh god, what happened?” Ann cried, reaching down to place a hand on Yusuke’s shoulder.

“Don’t touch him!” Ryuji shrieked, startling Ann away. “Don’t fucking touch him, okay!” he shouted over Yusuke’s wails. “I’ve got him! Just… Just… Listen, we need a doctor! He’s hurt and we don’t have any time! Find me a doctor!”

“I know one,” Akira said immediately. “She’s in Yongen though. We’ll need to take the train to get to her, but there’s no one better. She’ll be able to help.”

“They won’t let him on the train while he’s screaming like this, and even so, is it wise to bring an injured person on a crowded train?” Makoto asked.

“What choice do we have?” Akira looked around and noticed a crowd already forming. “We need to calm him down. Ryuji, can you—“

Ryuji was already on it. He cupped Yusuke’s cheeks in his hands and forced him to look at him. “Listen, you need to stop. I know this is painful, and I know you’re scared, but Akira knows someone who can help you. We have to take the train to get to her though, okay? That means you need to stop screaming. Cry all you want, Yusuke. Let out as many tears as you need to, but you have to stop screaming. Stop. Screaming.”

“M-my arm….” Yusuke barely managed the words before he began to wail again, only for Ryuji to cover his mouth with his hand just as he did before.

“Stop. Fuck, I care about you so much, Yusuke, and I don’t want to be harsh with you, but stop your goddamn screaming or we’ll never be able to help you!” The two must have looked pathetic to their friends. Both of them soaking wet, broken, crying, yelling… Quite the sight to behold.

But his harshness seemed to work. Yusuke quieted down to whimpers, his breathing shaky and heavy as he tried to keep himself from breaking out into sobs. Ryuji held him tightly as he helped him stand, doing his best to not look at the limp, unmoving arm. Their friends gathered around them as they navigated through the crowd towards the train.

Ryuji never thought it would happen, but he finally related to Yusuke more in this moment than he ever had before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -low whistle- Things got pretty intense there, didn't it? Even I'm upset about what happened to poor Yusuke! Well, I'm steadily working on chapter 5 so we'll see where this all winds up soon. Also, if you feel so inclined, you can follow me and chat with me on twitter @confidant_v (I may change my username on here to that as well). 
> 
> Thanks for reading and I'll see you soon! And also thanks for sticking with me this far! This is my favorite fanfiction I've written and it's because of you amazing readers and my wonderful beta. I don't know how many times I can say thank you hahah!


	5. Almost Perfect - Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been quite the hiatus for me and this story, hasn't it? I apologize to all the people out there who had been supporting me and keeping up with my story. There's a lot of reasons it took me so long to update, but FINALLY here it is, and right around the holidays too! I hope that you'll all forgive me and take a chance at this new chapter. There's a lot more to come and I hope this holiday gift is something you can all enjoy. For those of you who stuck around even after this long, thank you so much! I owe you guys!

They needed to listen.

It was important that they listen to every single word she said.

Ryuji tried. He tried to take in every last syllable of what the doctor told them because he knew Yusuke wouldn’t. Throughout the entire examination, Dr. Takemi had to repeat whatever she said because Yusuke wasn’t listening. At a certain point the doctor stopped talking to Yusuke entirely and instructed Ryuji instead. “Please tell him to face me,” she would say. “Ryuji, ask the patient if this hurts.” She’d say while pressing certain parts of Yusuke’s arms with her finger. “Ryuji, please let him know he can relax on the examination bed.” And Ryuji obeyed without hesitation. He would look Yusuke right in his eyes, place a hand against his cheek, and gently repeat what the doctor told him. Through his soft crying and sniffles, Yusuke would nod his head and follow the simple directions given to him. Nothing more, nothing less.

After several torturous hours Dr. Takemi finished her work. Yusuke sat solemnly on the bed, his head resting against Ryuji’s side who was standing beside him, his arm around his shoulder.

“Ryuji,” Dr. Takemi said as she looked over her report, “tell the patient it should take about six weeks to heal, and that’s maximum. Now that’s not so bad, is it?”

Not so bad…? Six weeks was hell. It was unacceptable. How could Ryuji look Yusuke in his eyes and tell him it would take nearly two months for his arm to fully heal? How could he tell him he couldn’t use his main painting tool for two goddamn months?

He didn’t.

He ran his fingers up and down Yusuke’s shoulder and said nothing. Somehow he knew that out of everything Dr. Takemi said tonight, this was the one thing Yusuke had heard. This was the one thing that registered with him. Six weeks without his arm. Probably more than that if he chose to go through with physical therapy.

“I suggest going home and getting some rest,” Dr. Takemi said, looking not just at Yusuke, but at all of them. “It might be best for you all to go together.”

“It’s okay,” Ryuji said instantly, holding onto Yusuke just a bit tighter. “I’ll take Yusuke home, guys. Don’t worry. Thanks for helping.” His voice was low, barely audible, which was more than unusual for Ryuji. No one mentioned it as he helped Yusuke stand, keeping an arm around his waist to help the still stunned artist balance. As they walked away everyone offered their best wishes and general “I’m sorry” to Yusuke, who barely noticed them. He simply let Ryuji guide him where he wanted, leaving the others behind in the doctor’s office. 

“I’m sorry about your friend. He’ll be okay, though. Don’t worry.” Dr. Takemi did her best to reassure everyone, especially Akira who looked more upset than she expected. The girls all nodded their heads at her, thanking her for her kind words before eventually shuffling out of the office with Akira following. Once outside they said their good-byes and left, Makoto and Ann walking home together while Akira quickly made his way to the cafe.

It was late, but the lights from the cafe were still shining. Sojiro never stayed up for Akira or bothered to check in on what time he was coming home, yet here he was. When Akira opened the door, the familiar little bell welcoming him, he not only saw Sojiro, but Akechi as well. He hadn’t been able to get even one word out before Sojiro spoke.

“Where have you been? We’ve been worried sick!” Akira hadn’t expected the two to stay up and wait for him. It wasn’t the first time he’d been late coming home, though this was the latest he’d ever been. His eyes darted back and forth between Akechi and Sojiro as his mouth tried to form the words he wanted to speak. The concerned look on Akechi’s face didn’t go unnoticed; Akira could always rely on Akechi to know exactly what he was feeling. Seeing that worried expression simultaneously calmed Akira and saddened him. The last thing he wanted was for the other to worry so much about him.

He slowly walked towards the two of them, his feet struggling to carry him the entire way there. “It’s Yusuke,” he finally said, his voice shaky. 

Sojiro’s angry expression instantly softened as Akira sat down at the bar next to Akechi. “Is he okay?” He’d never say it, but Sojiro had a soft spot in his heart for Yusuke. No one had ever given the cafe as meaningful a gift as Yusuke’s lovely portrait, and Sojiro was still trying to come up with ways he could thank him. His heart pounded in his chest as he waited for Akira to continue speaking, though part of him didn’t want to hear whatever horrible news would come out of his mouth.

“H-his arm…”

Akechi rested a hand on Akira’s back. He’d never seen his friend like this before. The normally calm and suave Akira was shaking, his eyes wide as what he experienced replayed itself over and over in his mind. Akechi knew he wasn’t seeing anything except the trauma of what happened.

Akira took a shuddering breath as he tried to recollect himself. He’d been calm while with his friends, but now he couldn’t keep his emotions in check. “His scream, you guys…” he murmured, tossing off his glasses and burying his head in his hands as he tried to block Yusuke’s horrendous wails from his ears. “He just kept screaming. He couldn’t stop and even when he did he cried, and cried, and cried.”

Up until now Akira had done everything in his power to not let his emotions get the better of him. Yusuke and Ryuji needed him to keep it together. Makoto and Ann were holding in their tears since they left Shibuya. Even Morgana was trying not to lose his composure. They all needed Akira to be the strong leader they had grown to rely on, but that pressure finally took a toll. Now that he was away from his friends and with people who could help carry his stress he let all of his anxieties and worries out. 

“I didn’t know what to do, you guys. I did my best. I took him to the doctor, but he was hardly even aware he was there. He just… He couldn’t stop crying. And his scream… God, I can’t get it out of my head. I still hear it.”

“Akira….” Sojiro rested a hand on Akira’s shoulder, wishing he could take away the other’s pain with that touch. His surprise at how badly Akira was shaking was evident on his face. In the few months he had know him, Sojiro knew that Akira was typically relaxed and handled pressure well. He never even seemed to bat an eye at the rumors that surrounded him at his school. Yet here he was now, trembling, his voice cracking, his eyes staring off as he rewatched everything that happened tonight. Unfortunately, neither Sojiro nor Akechi could see what Akira saw. They didn’t know anything except the little snippets they could pull from Akira’s rambling. Sojiro kept his hand on Akira’s shoulder, hoping to reassure him that he wasn’t alone and that he could hand over some of his worry to him. “It’s gonna be okay. Just take a few breaths and when you’re ready, tell us what happened. Okay?”

Akira nodded his head. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed before he was finally able to speak about what happened. It all still weighed on him; Yusuke’s horrified screaming, Ryuji’s franticness to help, the girls trying to comfort the both of them only to be pushed away, and Akira attempting to hold all of them together. He’d failed them. He did his best by bringing them to Dr. Takemi, but ultimately he’d let them down. They all still walked away hurting, anxious, and with no resolution.

“I did my best,” he finally said, wiping his eyes with a handkerchief Akechi handed to him. “Me and the girls all met up at the diner and while we were waiting for Yusuke and Ryuji we heard screaming. Such loud screaming. We ran towards the sound only to see that… That…” He shuddered and drifted off, as if speaking the words would turn this nightmare into a reality that he wanted no part of. It took another deep breath and composed himself enough to continue his story. “That it was Yusuke.” He shook his head, again trying to tear those terrible wails out of his mind. “I don’t even really know what happened. Ryuji kind of explained it to me, but he was too busy taking care of Yusuke. I guess they got into a fight with some thugs or something, and Yusuke....” A sob rose in Akira’s throat and it took everything in him to swallow it back down. “They broke his arm…. His drawing arm.”

“Oh no…” Akechi rubbed Akira’s back, knowing the action did little to help his friend. It was all he could offer as he continued listening.

“The doctor said he’d heal in about two months, but that’s two months without painting or drawing or even writing. I mean he can always try, but it won’t be the same. I just… Why did it have to be his arm? Of all things, why his arm?”

A heavy silence fell over the three of them. Nothing they said would make any of this better. Nothing Sojiro or Akechi said could do anything to take away Akira’s pain. They sat for some time, letting Akira cry and ramble and accept their offerings of help in any form they could give. It was the early hours, nearly two in the morning, before Akira was finally calm enough that Sojiro felt okay leaving him on his own. Akira assured him over and over that he was fine, and it was only when he promised Sojiro that he would call him as soon as he woke up did he finally leave.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Akechi whispered, following Akira up the stairs.

“No. Well, yes. But no.” He’d be a lot less okay were Akechi not with him. Normally Morgana would put up a huge fuss just as he always did when Akechi was hanging around too much. He didn’t understand what Akira saw in this guy and he knew he never would. As much as he wanted to be the one to take care of Akira, Morgana stayed downstairs while the other two made their way to the bedroom. This was the one night he’d allow it. Just this once.

As if he noticed the cat’s generosity, Akechi chuckled, smiled at Morgan, and followed Akira into his room, gently closing the door behind him.

***

Yusuke didn’t say a word as he stepped into his dorm, uncaring if Ryuji followed him or not. Ryuji did indeed follow him; he wouldn’t leave Yusuke’s side in a time like this. He closed the door behind him, watching as Yusuke plopped down on his bed. His soft sniffles and light sobbing broke Ryuji’s heart into little pieces. It felt like it had shattered into a million jagged parts with no way of finding which piece matched with the other. Even so, he knew the pain in his chest was nothing compared to what Yusuke was feeling now.

Ryuji had been there before. He had been trapped in that dark place for so long, and even now he was still trying to truly break free from it. He knew all about the turmoil of emotions raging inside Yusuke, the desperation, the denial, the heartache, the sadness, the anger, the hopelessness… He knew it all. He had experienced all of it and then some; the pain was so unbearable that he wouldn’t wish it on his worst enemy. No one deserved the horror of losing the one thing they could always rely on, the one thing that could get them through the day when nothing else could.

Well, perhaps Kamoshida and the men who did this to Yusuke deserved that pain, but no one else.

Yusuke’s crying didn’t cease. Ryuji was unsure how long he spent leaning against the door as he watched his friend fall apart in front of him. He wanted to reach out and run his hand through Yusuke’s hair. He wanted to pull him into his arms, kiss his forehead, and whisper that everything would be fine. He wanted to kiss away each and every tear, to press Yusuke’s head against his neck as he sobbed and cried. He wanted to tell Yusuke that they shared this pain, that he didn’t have to face this alone.

Yet, Ryuji didn’t move. He just stood there, watching. He felt no better than his former teammates who had done the same thing. They simply watched as he writhed on the ground, screaming for someone to help him, for someone to call out Kamoshida for his horrendous actions. Nothing. No one did anything, and Ryuji couldn’t help but feel like he was just as useless right here and now.

“Yusuke…” He muttered, unsure if the other even heard him. He extended his arm, wanting so desperately to just let Yusuke know that he was right there beside him and that he would be throughout this entire ordeal. Without realizing it, his feet began moving forward. He moved slowly, cautiously, as if any sudden movement would shatter Yusuke. He repeated the other’s name, but Yusuke didn’t respond. Instead he stood up abruptly, startling Ryuji.

“We need to shower to get this rain water off of us,” he said. His voice was hard, cold, and stiff, as if he were a robot spewing out information rather than a human concerned about another’s welfare. He sighed heavily and made his way past Ryuji to the bathroom, grabbing a plastic bag from the kitchen area as he did so. “I’ll go first. I won’t be long.”

“Are… Are you gonna be okay by yourself?”

“I’ll be fine,” Yusuke replied, his voice lacking and warmth. “I’ll wrap my cast in the bag so it won’t get wet.”

Ryuji shrugged. “I wasn’t really talking about--”

“I’ll be out soon.”

Yusuke disappeared into the bathroom, leaving Ryuji to his own thoughts. He sat on the floor beside the bed, staring at the bathroom door like a puppy waiting for it’s owner to return. He didn’t like leaving Yusuke alone, even if it was just for a few moments. He recalled how lonely he had been when he’d gotten his injury. The only person who visited him was his mother; he was all by himself, thinking about how things could have gone differently, how his future was ruined, how his teammates who he thought were his friends betrayed him when he needed them most. The loneliness drove him mad, and had it not been for the fact that his mother needed him it would have been too easy to throw himself out of the hospital window. 

To think that Yusuke was experiencing that same hopelessness, that same pain, crushed Ryuji. If there was a way to protect him from that pain he would have done so instantly. Instead, he sat on the ground, listening to the sound of falling water and waiting for Yusuke to emerge. It felt like hours, but it was only a few moments later that the water turned off and the door opened. The two met eyes when Yusuke emerged, though Ryuji didn’t understand why Yusuke looked so confused.

“Why are you sitting on the floor?” 

“Huh?” Ryuji looked around himself, as if expecting to find the reason lying beside him, before he looked back at Yusuke with a shrug. “I didn’t want to get your bed wet.”

“Oh.” Yusuke accepted that answer without much thought as he made his way to the bed. “You can go in now. There’s already a towel in there for you.”

“Oh sure. Thanks.” Once again, Ryuji felt guilty for leaving Yusuke on his own. Not only that, but he felt guilty for using his shower when he should have been out there comforting Yusuke. His urge to be with the other fueled him, and his shower hardly lasted three minutes. He was clean and dry in record time, and his speed was only stalled when he realized he didn’t have anything to wear. His clothes were abandoned on the floor beside Yusuke’s, but he couldn’t very well put them back on. Wrapping a towel around himself, he exited the bathroom to see Yusuke laying on the bed with his back towards him.

“Hey. I… uhh… I don’t have anything to wear.”

“Then I’ll guess you’ll just have to be naked, won’t you?”

Ryuji wasn’t sure if this was Yusuke’s nymphomania peeking through even in this severe situation or if he was simply giving a reasonable answer to a stupid statement, but he wasn’t complaining. He set the towel back on the rack as he made his way towards the bed, sliding under the covers and wrapping his arm around Yusuke’s waist to pull him as close as he could. There again was that intoxicating scent, that beautiful soft lavender with creamy honey and milk, and always, as if it were embedded in his skin, that harsh pang of acrylic. Ryuji inhaled deeply, closing his eyes as he lost himself in Yusuke’s scent. His breath tickled the back of Yusuke’s neck, and though Yusuke was too exhausted to say anything he appreciated the closeness and warmth that Ryuji provided him. He not only appreciated it, he devoured it. He needed it more than he knew. Just knowing Ryuji was right here beside him, breathing, blinking, thinking, helped him make it through each and every agonizing minute.

He felt a kiss to the back of his head and he couldn’t help the small smile that formed on his lips. Ryuji was… Just so cute.

“Do that again.” Yusuke’s voice was so quiet that he wondered if Ryuji even heard him. The answer came quickly when he felt lips again pressed to the back of his head causing his smile to grow even wider. How lucky was he to have someone as kind and genuine as Ryuji as a lover? Even more so he considered himself lucky that Ryuji even cared about him to this extent. Yusuke couldn’t think of many other people who would stay with him, comfort him in bed, and make sure that he didn’t lose his mind over all of this.

“I never imagined that I’d see you naked and be unable to take advantage of it,” Yusuke said, turning to lay on his back so he could regard the man next to him. Ryuji adjusted with him, keeping his arm around his waist while he nuzzled his temple. “I feel like…” Yusuke paused, staring at the ceiling as he searched for the words he wanted to say. “Like this is all a dream. I feel like I’ll wake up and my arm will be fine. I’ll remember this nightmare and tell it to you, and then you’ll remind me that our date ended at the restaurant, eating dinner with our friends. Or rather that it ended with you coming home with me. We took a shower and layed in bed, talking into the early morning hours. There’s no way possible that my arm is actually broken. Right?”

Each and every word that came from Yusuke’s mouth tore into Ryuji’s heart over and over again. He remembered thinking this exact same thing. He remembered hoping he’d wake up from this horrible nightmare. During that time everything was so surreal that he was certain it was a dream. Then reality hit him the way it always did and he knew that his life was over. His memories constantly haunted him as did the helplessness of his situation, but he took comfort in knowing that Yusuke wasn’t in his same predicament. It was similar, but the outcome would be entirely different. “I hope it’s a dream, Yusuke.” His voice was soft as it trailed into Yusuke’s ear, the warmth and tenderness of it helping to calm the distraught artist. As he spoke Ryuji did what he could to keep comforting Yusuke. He rubbed his thumb against his thigh, nuzzled his cheek and hair, placed kisses to his neck, anything at all to remind Yusuke that he wasn’t alone. “Maybe we’ll both wake up from this dream and we can laugh at the insanity of it. But if it’s not a dream, then know that I’m here to help you through this. Six weeks sounds like a long time to heal, but it’ll go by before you know it. I promise.” He placed another kiss on Yusuke’s cheek, though the look of doubt didn’t go unnoticed by him.

They were quiet for a while; Ryuji knew that nothing he could say would make Yusuke feel better. It was true that he would heal, but six weeks might as well have been an eternity. It didn’t feel right to tell Yusuke to stop his crying because he’d be healed soon, but Ryuji knew that Yusuke needed the reminder that this wasn’t permanent. Time was on their side.

“It’s not fair.” That cracking voice drew Ryuji from his thoughts. Tears were once again streaming down Yusuke’s flush cheeks, and though Ryuji held the other’s face in his hands and wiped away each and every tear that fell more quickly replaced them. “I finally get away from Madarame; I finally get the chance to freely produce art without the worry of someone else taking the credit for it and now I can’t even draw. It’s not fair, Ryuji. It’s not fair.” 

“I know, babe. I know.” Ryuji sighed heavily as he pressed his lips to Yusuke’s cheek. “I know it hurts. More than hurts. You’re angry. You’re sad. You can’t believe this is even happening. Dread is just sitting there in the pit of your stomach and it’s driving you mad with thoughts that you’ll never heal or that you’ll never fulfill your dreams. And every day is just going to get worse and worse. You’ll settle into a routine with a broken arm and that’s when you’ll really get scared. You’ll realize that you’ve come to accept your life like this, but that feeling of dread never goes away. It’s always there in the darkest parts of your mind, pushing it’s way to the forefront. You’ll be eating with your friends and you’ll think about how you can’t draw. You’ll be in class and you’ll think about how you can’t draw. You’ll be eating curry at LeBlanc or walking down the street or reading a book or sitting here alone in your dorm, but you’ll always be thinking about how you can’t do the one thing that you were born to do.”

“Ryuji… How could you say these things…?”

Before he could finish his words Ryuji placed a finger over Yusuke’s lips to silence him. Ryuji could tell from he look on Yusuke’s face that he was only upsetting the broken man. Right now he was making everything worse, but Ryuji wasn’t the type to leave his friends alone in their sorrows. “I’m telling you this to prepare you for the worst, Yusuke. What you’re feeling right now…” Ryuji shook his head, closing his eyes as he remembered the few days after his own accident. “It doesn’t come close to the pain you have coming. You have two things on your side, though. Two things that will take away all of that pain. The first is knowing that this is only temporary. Your days will get worse, but it won’t be long before they get better again. You’ll start to realize that your arms doesn’t hurt you so much. You’ll feel your body pulling itself back together. That ball of dread that will take up so much space in your mind will slowly disappear. You’ll smile again and laugh again and draw again. Your art will even be better after having gone through this. You don’t believe me now, but it’s true. It’ll get worse before it gets better, but believe me that it _will_ get better.”

The mood in the small room lifted as a smile grew on Yusuke’s face. He chuckled softly, a hand reaching up to run through Ryuji’s fluffy hair. “And what’s the second thing that will help me through all of this?”

“Me, duh!” 

Hearing that laugh made all of the horrors of the evening vanish. In that moment Yusuke’s smile meant more to Ryuji than all of the money, gold, and riches on earth. It was a beautiful smile, one that wasn’t weighed down by burdens or sadness. Yusuke knew that Ryuji was here to help him through each and every step of this horrible situation, and that was all Ryuji could ask for. Yusuke’s gentle, divine smile was contagious. Ryuji’s lips parted into a wide smile that mirrored the one beside him. Relief filled him; for a moment he thought Yusuke would never smile like that again. He would be fine.

He would be just fine.

“Thank you, Ryuji.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” Ryuji couldn’t resist reaching up and running his fingers through Yusuke’s silky blue locks. His hair was still damp from the shower and Ryuji shivered as the cold wetness hit his warm hand. It made him not want to touch Yusuke’s face. Such a perfect masterpiece didn’t need Ryuji making him cold because he couldn’t keep his wet hands to himself. He was about to pull his hand away entirely when he felt Yusuke’s nimble fingers wrap around his wrist. A startled yip escaped Ryuji when he was grabbed and the surprise didn’t leave his face when Yusuke placed his palm against his cheek, peppering it with soft kisses.

“Oh… I didn’t realize my hair was still wet.” Yusuke chuckled as he continued to kiss along the inside of the Ryuji’s hand, licking the water from his lips as he did so. Even in his depressed mood Yusuke was still as beautiful as any piece of art Ryuji ever laid eyes on. His normally sharp eyes were softer, almost rounder in their reddened, puffy state. Little remnants of tears rested on his eyelashes and before he could stop himself Ryuji leaned over and kissed them away. He looked down at his gorgeous bedmate, tilting his head at the pinkness of his normally pale cheeks. All of the sobbing and stress Yusuke had endured in these few hours showed clear on his face, and yet he still looked as stunning as ever. Even his lips tuned a few shades darker as the warmth of them were pressed against the cold of Ryuji’s wet hand. Each little kiss sent sparks through Ryuji, and he gulped loudly as he tried to keep himself in control. He was no expert, but even he could tell that Yusuke wasn’t in the mood for sex. Right now, all the broken artist needed was a companion.

“You’ll be okay, Yusuke,” Ryuji muttered, pressing a kiss to one of those pink cheeks.

“I know. I’ll be okay so long as you’re with me.”

“No.” Ryuji shook his head as he turned Yusuke’s face towards him. He looked into Yusuke’s shining wet eyes that seemed like they would burst into tears at any moment. If he could take away the pain, Ryuji would. He’d wish for himself to carry all of the pain Yusuke was feeling so he wouldn’t have to suffer through it. He’d happily take it all if it meant Yusuke wouldn’t have to shoulder these burdens. He may have already dealt with this pain once before, but he do it again and again if it meant Yusuke wouldn’t have to.

“You’d be okay even if I weren’t with you. You’re strong like that, you know? You’re the strongest guy I know. You don’t need me here to--”

“Stop.” This time tears really did begin flowing from Yusuke’s eyes and Ryuji used his thumb to gently brush them away. “Stop it, Ryuji. Don’t say that. Do you really think I could handle this alone? If it weren’t for you, I’d… God, I’d probably still be in that alleyway screaming for someone to help me. I certainly wouldn’t be as calm as I am now. Stop selling yourself so short, especially now when I need you to recognize how much you’re helping me through this.”

Ryuji wasn’t sure what to say to that. He stared at Yusuke as his mind tried to break from it’s shock to try and form some kind of response. When was the last time Ryuji felt needed? His mom needed him, but even she seemed to be managing well enough without a constant need for Ryuji. Every now and then he questioned whether or not the Phantom Thieves actually needed him. Their team was strong especially now that Makoto and Yusuke had joined them. Who knew who would join them in the future? There was always the chance that others who were far stronger than him would usurp his place amongst the group. Ryuji never fooled himself into thinking he was actually needed by anyone. 

Yet here was Yusuke telling him that he couldn’t be without him.

“I….” So many thoughts filled Ryuji’s mind and yet it was also completely blank. He felt elated, depressed, excited, saddened, and loved all at once. It destroyed him to know how much Yusuke was hurting, but he was joyous that out of all the people Yusuke could have turned to he turned to him. He purposefully chose Ryuji to help through this and now he realized that he needed him.

Yusuke needed Ryuji in this moment more than anyone else.

“I’m right here.” The words came out as a single, breathless, fluttering whisper as Ryuji wrapped his arms tightly around Yusuke. His heart was like a drum pounding in his chest as he held Yusuke’s head to it. He was embarrassed that Yusuke would hear his heart thumping so loudly, but another part of him didn’t care. All he cared about was helping this poor, amazing person through this terrible situation that he knew too well. “I’m right here beside you, Yusuke.”

“My arm… You’re.. Squishing it…”

“Huh? Oh shit! I’m sorry!” In his attempt to comfort Yusuke more Ryuji had trapped his arm between his body and the mattress. He backed off as quickly as he had grabbed Yusuke, biting his nail as his friend adjusted to a more comfortable position. “I’m so fucking sorry, Yusuke.”

“It’s fine.” The chuckle that accompanied those words settled the nerves that rose in Ryuji’s stomach. “Your eagerness to help is just one of many things I love about you. You’re always so happy to help those around you. You’re like a dog.”

“Ouch. Damn, way to cut a person down.”

“I didn’t it mean it as an insult, darling.” Yusuke rested back under the sheets, patting beside him so Ryuji would join him once again. This time Ryuji was careful as he wrapped an arm around Yusuke’s thin waist and pulled him close so he could pepper his neck and cheek with kisses. “I just meant that when you’re happy, you’re happy like a dog. It’s a pure kind of happiness. Genuine, with no motives behind it or anything like that. Just pure, boundless, wholesome happiness. It’s simple and I like that.” 

Ryuji shrugged. “I don’t see any other way someone can be happy.”

“Really? I think all we’ve experienced in the palaces shows how someone can have a dark sort of happiness. Madarame, for example, needed to obtain more and more in order to be happy. If he didn’t have all of the treasures he dreamed of, then happiness was out of reach of him. He was never satisfied it seemed. With you it’s different. I could compliment your shirt and you’d be happy about it the entire day, but you’d never expect anything more. You wouldn’t expect me to compliment you tomorrow, and it wouldn’t make you sad if I didn’t. You would be happy just having received a compliment in the first place.”

“Is… that bad?”

“Not at all. It’s a wonderful thing, Ryuji. It’s what makes you so different from everyone else. We all seek approval in some way. Even I get upset if I show off my work to my classmates and only one person likes it. Instead of being happy that this one person liked my work, I’m angry that not everyone did. Perhaps I can learn something from you, Ryuji.”

“I doubt that.”

“You seemed very excited to know that I needed you. I’m excited that I need you, Ryuji. I’m excited to have someone so special and genuine to help me through this.”

“I’m not so special and genuine. I’m just me. Besides, I’m probably the best person to help you through this. I’ve gone through the same thing or something similar anyway.”

Yusuke stared at the ceiling as he tried to recount Ryuji’s past experiences. “I can’t say I’m too familiar with your strife. Ann mentioned to me briefly that the first person to have their heart stolen from you hurt both you and Ann. She said this man prevented you from running ever again. Is that true?”

Ryuji hesitated before answering. It was never easy to talk about Kamoshida and he counted his blessings that the only people among his group of friends who knew about him were Akira and Ann. The situation was the same as everyone else’s. Some horrible adult got the better of him and ruined his life. He knew no one would judge him for it, but it was still embarrassing. He felt like he should have fought more or stood up to him or something just to show that he wasn’t so weak. He couldn’t let Yusuke know he was really this weak….

“Yeah. I mean I did my best, you know. He was harassing my teammates and I tried to fight back. He broke my leg right here.” Ryuji lifted the blanket and ran his fingers along his inner thigh where most of the damage was done. He didn’t bother to look at Yusuke’s face as he showed him his scar; it was too shameful to face this amazing person, knowing how pathetic he was. “I guess I reacted the same way you did. I screamed and screamed and screamed. I was taken to the hospital where they operated, but I was done for. He took away the one thing I was good at. He took away the one thing I was proud of.”

Ryuji didn’t expect the soft, gentle touch of Yusuke’s fingers along his thigh. He gasped, jumping as he backed away. They caught eyes and Ryuji immediately felt guilty at the apologetic look on Yusuke’s face. Before he could get out his own apology Yusuke beat him to it.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have touched you.”

“No, it’s fine. I just didn’t expect it. I don’t really care if you touch me there.”

Once permission was given Yusuke didn’t hesitate to extend his uninjured arm once again to trail along the discolored scar that marred Ryuji’s skin. He noticed how Ryuji tensed up. Even if he said he was fine with Yusuke touching him Ryuji couldn’t silence the screams in his head at having his most shameful weakness exposed. The touch of Yusuke’s delicate fingers across that damned scar was more intimate than everything the two had done with each other thus far. Yusuke might as well have opened Ryuji’s chest to run his hand along his beating, exposed heart. Yet regardless of his trembling and the knot forming in his stomach, Ryuji resisted the urge to push Yusuke away. No one had ever been this close to his scarred, damaged leg before, not even his own mother. Yusuke was the only one allowed the close. Yusuke was the only person who could see Ryuji at his weakest.

“Did anyone help you?”

“Huh?” Ryuji wiped his eyes, unaware that he had been tearing up as Yusuke’s fingers danced up and down this thigh. “W-what do you mean?” he sniffed, swallowed hard, and coughed to try and hide his bubbling over emotions. “Of course people came to help me. The medics arrived maybe ten minutes after it happened. I don’t know who called them, but--”

“I mean did any of your friends help you? Your teammates? You were there for me and then the others all showed up to help us. I don’t know what I would have done without you. The way you made it sound…” Yusuke shrugged, his hand still taking in that soft, sensitive scar. “I don’t know. You said you screamed and then the paramedics arrived. It sounds like no one was there with you. Surely some of your teammates rode with you to the hospital and sat by your side even if they didn’t defend you."

Ryuji snorted. “Yeah right. They all just stood there, staring at me. God, I remember their expressions like it was yesterday. Some of them were mad at me. Some of them pitied me. They looked at me like I was some horse about to get shot because he couldn’t run anymore. Others just walked away as if nothing was going on. Bastards.”

“Why… Why would they do that?”

“Because they didn’t want to stand up to Kamoshida. At the end of the day I don’t blame them. Still… It hurts, you know. Having people you love and care about turn their backs on you… I can’t describe how it feels.”

“Like you’re choking. Like you’re suffocating, but you just won’t die. You just exist, gasping for air each and every day. Some days are easier to breathe than others. Some days you just want it all to finally end.”

Yusuke’s hand stopped moving along Ryuji’s leg as he spoke. His hand perfectly still, his eyes staring at the scar though not seeing it at all. His memories played in his mind and it was only Ryuji’s gentle hand petting his hair that snapped him out of his hypnosis.

“Yeah. That’s exactly how it feels. I’ve been suffocating for a long time now. Lately, though, it’s been easier to breathe. You’ve made it easier to breathe, Yusuke.” 

A small smirk crossed Yusuke’s lips as he sat up to press his body flush against Ryuji’s. The warmth that traveled between them settled his anxieties and stresses. For the moment, he felt like nothing in the world could harm him. All of the pain coursing through his arm was lifted. The sadness at his inability to paint and draw for the next few weeks disappeared in an instant. Being with Ryuji was like nothing else. His presence alone was enough for all of this pain and sadness to rush out of him. Regardless if he believed it or not Yusuke felt that Ryuji had that effect on people. He may have been aggressive and loud and boisterous, but he was also kind and caring. That was just one of many reasons why Yusuke was drawn to him in the first place.

“I’ve never heard your wax poetic before, Ryuji. It’s pretty. You should do it more often.”

Ryuji couldn’t hold in his laugh as he snaked an arm around Yusuke’s waist. “Right. I’ll work on my poetic waxing so I can impress you.”

“I’m already impressed by you, darling.” When had laughing become such a luxury? It seemed like it had been years since the two had even smiled at each other. As long as Yusuke continued to show that beautiful, divine smile, and allow Ryuji to hear that gentle, lovely laugh, then everything would be fine. That’s what Ryuji told himself over and over again as the two men curled against each other and fell asleep.

Everything would be fine.


End file.
